Mr Bender insists that things were normal until his wife was sucked into a hole by the Old Mill Road. Following, he discovered the the hole was populated by Invaders from Mars. The invaders placed a small metallic device in a location most people would not notice and began to control Mrs Bender's actions. Also, he says, they did something to her eyes. Rescuing her from the invaders, Mr Bender fled with his wife to Des Moines. There she would insist on toasting steel wool for breakfast and licking the light sockets. Mr Bender says he knew that she was still under the Martians' control when he found her making love to a taser, grunting "I like it!" The divorce base on insanity is granted.
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FOOLTHEREWAS
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