My wife once confided early on in our relationship her masturbation techniques and fantasies. She said when she uses the shower head or a vibrator she doesn’t really fantasize. Just focuses on the sensation. But when she’s feeling particularly horny she bunches up her blanket in her crotch and humps it and sometimes fingers herself from behind. In these moments she plays out fantasies of being fucked by men. She insisted it was no one in particular but maybe a stranger or one night stand. At one point it was framed as “usually just the idea of a man”. I got hung up on “usually” and pushed a bit. What she came to divulge was that most frequently it was her ex from college who she absolutely hates. Over time it came out that he was manipulative and controlling and sexually too rough for her liking. But for some reason post-breakup she found herself fantasizing about him and his best friend having a threesome and that she played that out in her head. It became part of her masturbation routine and shed cycle through imagining different men she knew. Former coworkers, current boss, a neighbor that we had a mild feud with. Always someone who she doesn’t like as a person but is aroused by the idea of them taking control of her.
This might sound kind of weird but she is a very independent proud woman and doesn’t have any psychological hang ups. She’s not self loathing or anything. It’s almost like she has tapped into a subconscious thing and taken control of it by sexualizing it for gratification rather than letting things upset her.
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