I've been in the lifestyle since 1981. I was single for the majority of that time. I did have many different relationships during those years. Over the years, things have changed several times. To explain all the changes, it would take another post and maybe write a whole book. Let's just say it is a different world in the lifestyle today as opposed to yesteryear. The biggest change happened when the Internet came about.
Since the internet came about, I started making rules for "our"(whomever I was in a relationship with at the time) dynamic. After the internet changed everything, I learned real quick to set rules in whatever relationship I was in. My current relationship (myife), we met in the lifestyle. So we already knew to set "rules".
After being in the lifestyle so long, I meet many people who are in the lifestyle, and my first advice to all of them is to set some rules for their lifestyle play. I say the rules may evolve as you evolve in the lifestyle, but stick to the rules. If you or your partner cannot follow the rules, both of you need to get out of the lifestyle.
What is being called "limits" is what I am calling rules. I have found that having rules has saved a whole lot of headaches and heartaches.
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