[WoodyWoodWood]

Back in 1995, when I was a much younger man, I was in a tartan shop in Scotland and decided to find out whether there was a specific tartan related to my surname (which starts with Mc). After some searching the manager contacted me to say they had traced my name and established which tartan I was entitled to wear. So I ordered a full outfit - Kilt, Prince Charlie Jacket and Waistcoat, Dress Shirt, Tartan tie, Dress Sporan, knee length white socks, sgian-dubh, and dress brogues.

Like all good Scotsmen I wore this outfit to all the formal, black tie or white tie events I attended for a number of years. And again, like all good Scotsmen, I went commando under my kilt - which meant I had to be particularly careful when sitting down to avoid giving the ladies a flash.

There were a number of occasions where I was asked "what is worn under your kilt" and I had two stock answers. For most people I would reply "There's nothing worn under my kilt , it all works perfectly".

However when the enquiry was from a pretty member of the fairer sex I always replied saying "I can't tell you, you have to find out for yourself."

Most of the ladies that got that reply would either giggle and move on, or blush and move on. However there were a number over the years that asked how they could find out for themselves and I always suggested that they could always have a feel, or lay on the floor and I'd walk over them.

Over a period of years I'd say about two dozen were brave enough to find out - roughly 50:50 split between them having a feel or having a look...........