[nohead02]

In the late 60s (no cell phones) I was flying back into town after a week away. My roommate promised to pick me up at the airport. As usual with this guy, he didn't show up. So I am at the airport trying to find a ride and finally got one from a guy I worked with.

Got back to the apartment and I hear a Johnny Mathis (Mattress?) record coming out of the stereo and notice the bedroom door was shut. So that was why he didn't pick me up! So I throw open the bedroom door and turn on the light and there they are in the act on top of the sheet. (Missionary, if you are wondering.) I yell out, "BILL, I'M HOME! DIDN'T YOU MISS ME? I'VE BEEN AWAY A WHOLE WEEK! He jerks up and yells, Jim, get out!!!!! But I don't. All I see on the bed are his naked back side and her arms and legs extending out from their joined torsos. I keep talking about how glad he should be that I am back and eventually he realizes I am never going to leave. So he dismounts, gets up and drags me out of the room as the woman pulls the cover over herself.

Once he got us to the living room he was about to start giving me hell but then busted up laughing. Then he goes back into the bedroom and finishes his business. Later on he and his new conquest come out to the living room and we chat as if nothing happened. Bet you anything the woman still talks about that crazy idiot who caused that coitus interruptus.