Best Man
I was Best man at Guy and Nurses Wedding. I'm sure t'was HER who chose ME ! A couple of weeks after their Honeymoon, Guy accosted me in out Local, inviting me to call at their Apartment. I went, being persuaded to stay the night. About 2 am the light went on as Nurse entered, bollock naked. I rose from the sofa bed and followed her into the kitchen. "Please don't touch me !" she pleaded, eyeing me up as she drew a cup of water. The light was extinguished with a swift click as she returned to the bedroom. Seemingly, Guy had a Sleep Problem, needing Instant Tablets. The following month, the same. But I was ready and waiting, purposely staying awake and stroking my penis to its greatest extent in anticipation. She entered, naked. I leapt from between the damp sheets and pursued her into the kitchen. "Please" she sobbed, "don't touch me!" water spilling from her shaking right hand, her left held as a barrier between us as she eyed my erection when reaching for the light switch. They emigrated, and I saw and heard neither hair nor hide for 40 years.
The phone rang. T'was Nurse. She announced they were back in the UK, staying for a time in order to enhance their Old Age Pension. They would motor up next weekend. Forewarned is Forearmed. The morning following their late arrival, my wife rose at 8am to prepare breakfast. I rose and stood, naked, in our bedroom door. A now much chubbier Nurse emerged, d****d in her house coat and stood before me. "You know exactly what I want." I growled. "Yes!" she sighed. Dishes clattered, so I withdrew as she went to greet my wife. This scene was repeated several times over the next few years, with no signs of us ever being left alone together.
Again the Phone rang. An unknown Mobile Number. "We'er at Heathrow!" sobbed Nurse. "He's taking us back!" In the background, the tannoy announced the Final call for their Flight. It had a hollow tone, as though it was from the inside of the Ladies Toilet. The line went dead. Three years later, Nurse followed suit.
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