Quote:
Originally Posted by Curiouscouple2469
Agree 100%
Not that I’ve not had a few one night stands in my day, but in general, I don’t really enjoy them due to the lack of any real emotional connection with the person.
I was devastated when I broke up with my wife 25 yrs and the preceding partner 8yrs.
I entered into my current relationship and found it very satisfying until a couple rather heated arguments at year 5 and she said things I could never unhear.
We discovered at a couples sexual workshop - that if she really wants great sex she would pick some complete stranger so she could really let loose.
I am the opposite I need someone to truly trust in order to really let loose.
Since the arguments (not related to the workshop) we have mended our partnership as far as living arrangements but after hearing her derogative sabotaging comments I have had little desire to perform sexually with her ever since and we are three years on… I’ve lost my trust.
I have lost the emotional connection we once shared… game over.
At this point We share a mortgage, period .
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Man, I hear you, really. Some advice this workshop gave you-my wife was promiscuous enough already without some advice like that! One of her excuses for cheating on me (this was when our daughter was a baby and I found out about it years later) was, "I had never done anything like that before so I wanted to see what it was like" (since she lost her virginity to me-that's when she got her first STD and she said she had no idea where she got it-I had to be told because I had to be treated). I told her, "well, you never had robbed banks before either but that doesn't mean you should rob one to find out what it's like". Then in her second round of cheating 6 years she ago she got another STD and an abnormal pregnancy and kept running back to the same fuckup she got them from (in full view of and with the knowledge of the kids). I told her that it seemed like the scummier the guy was the more she couldn't resist hopping in bed with him.
Then she said she was sorry, we reconciled, and a few years later she moved in with her new bf she met while riding a bicycle. That was 3 years ago, and the kids live with me, although we're still legally married.
Like you, I've got 2 ex wives and the breakup with the second was really bad on me. This time, that's it. I can't fall in love with someone enough to uproot myself from my home country, give her 3 kids and still love someone else. I told her I don't love the kind of person she's become, but I damn sure couldn't love anyone else, or even have any feelings for them. I look at other women (you can tell by my albums that I do) but I still think they're all dogs compared to her. She knows that. I guess that's what true love is.
My father told me when I broke up with my 1st wife: "look, women can turn their emotions on and off like a light switch-they'll love you one day and the next day forget who in the hell you are." Boy, was he ever a prophet.
And I sure understand hearing things from her that you just can't unhear. It's terrible the things that people can say when they're mad-sometimes they mean them, sometimes they don't. It's really, really sad. That's why I think that people should apologize, mean it, forgive each other and move on. One thing I used to respect about my current wife is that she was always ready to say she was sorry, and so was I. Not anymore. She just recently blamed me for the fact that she cheated on me with these weirdos, saying she wasn't "happy". I told her that I guess she forgot all the years that I held her hand when she cried and had doubts and tried to lift her up, and these guys that give you STD's, an abnormal pregnancy and vandalize your father's car make you "happy"? I said, "wow, you sure have a weird idea of what happiness is".
So, what it boils down to is that women can divorce their genitals from their hearts just as much as men can, and maybe even more, especially if they're with these bad boy types.