I started thinking a lot about my wife and our relationship after. Mostly because of my long conversation with dad that she secretly listened as he brought up the guilt he feels over how he raised or treated me versus my siblings. I've never said anything to her about the different ways I was treated by dad. Don't get me wrong, it was obvious from the moment I was old enough to recognize the different expectations and treatments. Mom more than made up for this in the way she responded. I think dad not having mom around felt compelled to voice all and ask for forgiveness.
My response was that there was nothing to forgive. I would not be who I am without dad and mom raising me as they did. Dad understood my thoughts. My wife in hearing this was not as understanding. She was determined to get me to fully explain all the scenarios dad gave, which was many, and my perception. She thinks I am a Saint for not harboring any resentment. In questioning me it seems she addressed all with dad and got some resolution with him.
My response to her was and is. If not for the way I was raised differently from my siblings, I would be just like them. I was very independent and formed a confidence in myself because of this at a young age. As I got older and made mistakes I learned from those. As I told her examples I used academics and sports to reflect the differences in how I excelled and accepted nothing but the best from myself in both.
All this said, she has this saint impression of me and I explained to her my struggles at times. I also added that I believe without having the sense of confidence and independence I would not be so accepting of her desires with her hobby. When discussing this she thought is was me not trusting her. I had to explain that I assumed every red blooded male deals with some form of insecurities when it comes to relationships. I explained my thoughts about me for the first time. Not my confidence in me or our relationship nor the trust we have in each other, just my insecurities with how far she's willing to push her fun.
I was glad we spent all day that Sunday talking. Her first response when I voiced my insecurities was to say that she will stop her activities. I had to explain that I did not want her to ever attempt to change me so I did not want her to change. I did my best to let her know it was not her nor her activities. It was my inner thoughts of what ifs. We discussed throughly.
I am glad I did. I've read many post on this site to get the male perspective of supporting a females desires. From just exposing their body, to nudist activities and that mindset, to full on everything goes. I used a lot of what I gleaned from reading in our discussions. The best parts of the discussion was when either of us needed to have some time to consider what was said we would stop. Later we would come back with a fresh mind and resume.
I explained that sex was a boundry I was not willing to cross with either of us. My thoughts on my insecurities to her by the end of our discussion was as follows. It was something new when I discovered her desire to be seen naked was intentional and not embarrassing to her. I was absolutely fine with it. It really spiced up our bedroom activities. This progressed to full on exposures on purpose. I was still absolutely fine with others seeing every intimate part of her. This progress to her masturbating in a window and in a campground shower to orgasm with being watched. I believed this was the beginning of my insecurities not knowing where this was going. Then getting cum on her once. Insecurities were boiling over in me. Then touching and allowing to be touched.
When she and Xavier mutually masturbated to completion together and she had his cum all over her pussy and she orgasmed rubbing it in I was lost in my insecurities. This progression was what I explained. I made sure to tell her it was not her fault and I've never voiced this. Her response was to just stop. I laughed at her telling her that I absolutely loved her nudist mentality. Her ability to just be naked and lead a normal day of activities without acknowledging her nudity is admirable. I said, every time i try it I'm erect most of the time and always aware of my nudity. I used my dads as an example along with when she is with her dad and wife. I added, I love that I get to see tits and pussy of females I would never get the opportunity to witness without her. Her underlying exhibitionist tendency adds an unknown to ever occasion.
The resolution to our full discussion was to set a hard boundry. In the end it was simple. No sex. Oral or physical. We discussed in detail. As I assumed, when discussing all, Xavier and my boss both have had the tip of a finger penatrate her. She said only the tip. She was going to add no penetrating her to the boundry. I voiced that if it's to the first knuckle or a full finger hasn't that boundry passed. It had. After the long drive and into Sunday night with additional talking by phone as I traveled last week. All was resolved. I think knowing expectations and where things are going may resolve my insecurities.
As for the weekend with dad, I am so pleased with his willingness to have fun with us. He participates with us, he laughs quickly and responds. I hate he's lonely but I told my wife we will try to get down more often. As of today, he called her three times last week and texted with her every day. He called me twice during my travels. Both times I had to return his call and he felt like he was intruding on my work. My wife knows dad loves her nudity at his house. She said that she also loves the ability to be naked somewhere other than our house. The difference is at dadsshe never has to be concerned about a neighbor. Tabitha was back. They went out last Wednesday. I'm at the hotel bar with my boss. I get a text from my wife. She asked what I was doing. I text sitting at the hotel bar with my boss talking business.
I had talked to her earlier and she was going to tabithas. I asked what they were doing. She text, we just got back from being out and hanging out at tabithas. I did not respond. I get a text later from Tabitha asking if I was awake. I text that I'm in the hotel bar talking about a trip to my boss's in the keys the first week in January. I start getting text from both. My wife text my boss. He showed me laughing. My wife text, first week in January sounds perfect. Make him go. Tabitha is texting me she wants to go. My wife is texting please let's go followed by please please let's go. She kept adding please. I showed my boss. We were pretty drunk by this time. I have told him about Tabitha and gave him a full mental picture prior. He's saying, the more there the merrier and changed it to invite for new years. His wife is on the phone loving the idea of a new years party at their place. He hands me the phone to talk to her. There's a lot of pressure on me talking to his wife. I agreed.
I'm texting and talking to my boss. He's texting and talking to me. Tabitha text, get me an invite and I'll wear this top I have on now. They had been describing to me what they had done and were doing along with just wearing a sheer sleeping top with her husband being their waiter. I text, well how do I know if its worth it. She text back, one minute. Later I get a picture of both posing in front of their fireplace. Tabitha wearing only a spaghetti strap sheer white top. My wife the same in yellow. I zoom. Wow. Both pussies and tits zoomed well. Obviously her husband took the picture. Both wearing happy new years hats holding up drinks. Tabitha text see we are ready.
I tell my boss I just got a picture of the girls posing in New years hats requesting invites. He said, they are both welcome. He requested to see the picture. I told him Tabitha is with my wife so I can not but I'll ask. I text both, my boss would like to see the picture. Immediately get text back from both. Show him. My boss got to see exactly what I had been raving about. The pale pink nipples, her white white tits and that milky white pussy with a hint of inner lips peeking from her slit zoomed. We both admired and critiqued. It appears that Tabitha will be attending new years with my wife and I at my boss's. Her husband is still undecided.
Being bored in a hotel room I've started a written journal. I've gone back and transcribed post in order. I think I can have done this week before I get home. I'm going to have her read it when done then keep it updated so she can refer back. I hope she may want to add her perspective after reading and update.
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