Security Guard A
Applicant: I hear you're looking for a security gurad.
Me: Yes, we need a security guard for crowd control and to make sure no one steal the presents under the tree.
Applicant: That sounds like a great job. I'm interested. I'm on Christmas break from university so I have some spare time.
Me: Interview going grest. Next I have to see you naked to check for bruises, cuts, tattoos, piecings, etc.
Applicant: Sure, no problem.
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