Paris Eurabian Match "All the News That Fits After Beheading"
Jelzeel 63, 2178
DEBATE DIVIDES MUSIC SCHOLARS
Oslo
A recent archeological find in the home of a recently executed heretic in Varna has split the music world. A "record" made of black plastic was uncovered. This was a tool used by the Satanic Americans and Canadians to lure immodest females to perform unspeakable acts. The tool, according to revered musicologist and imam Pere Hammershold Ibn Ibrahim, is greatly damaged. Nevertheless, some sounds can be heard. Satanic bongo drums mark the rythm to an immodest female chanting, "My boyfriend's back, gonna save my reputation!" At this point a coven of immodest females chant, "Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back." It has been posited by the revered and saintly imam that these were the last know words of one Paris Hilton, a highly respected female of the 21st century (Old Style).
Caliph and musicologist Walter Becker ibn Saud ali Oxenfree, of the Museum of the 200 Charbroiled Comrades calls Ibrahim's theory, "a sham of a farcical joke upon the saintly world. The music, if one wants to call it that, was clearly used as a punishment device for those who offended the corrupt leaders of the day. A few hours of this would drive any man mad. Besides, everyone knows that Paris Hilton was fond of the chant Yummy! I've got love in my tummy!"
One insanely brave student suggested that it might not be a bad idea to ask an American or Canadian. "In a pinch, we could even ask an Englishman. After all, England is only a stone's throw from Calais!"
This turn of phrase turned out to be particularly unfortunate for the student as he was led away to the Jail of the 2000 Heroic Human Torches. He was heard to say, "Whatsamatter? Can'tcha take a joke?" as he was led off to face revered Mullah Fullah Bullah at the jail. It is unknown at this time what punishment will be meted out.
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FOOLTHEREWAS
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