From my limited experience (of conversations about clothed women), I think you have a point. There is an apparent double standard. I've asked a number of women over the years about this and the replies were along the lines of many men having leering lustful gazes and comments. Many women don't believe they leer in the same way (more of an aesthetic than crude erotic appreciation) or if they do then it's less bad because their opportunity to abuse is less.
Many women also acknowledged that women were generally far more judgemental about female dress and bodies (including their own) than men - insecurity? Women tend to worry about their looks more than men and are considered to "lose their looks" sooner than men.
Power imbalance was also mentioned as a factor. Men are generally physically more physically powerful than women so there is an obvious vulnerability from domestic violence and sexual attack by a stranger. Also economic power - traditionally women stayed at home and looked after the children, economically dependant on a man who earned the money. While other men controlled the economy/government/fashion industry/media etc.. An ugly rich man can get a beautiful woman more easily than an average looking and earning man.
I can understand economic and physical power imbalances, but I haven't worked out the difference between the "male gaze" and the "female gaze". Freud spent his life trying and failing to work out what women want, so what are my chances? It's difficult enough trying to work out what one woman thinks or wants - let alone all women!
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