[Amy Sue]

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has been reading. Without you I could not tell my story. I also should remind you that my story is a long one, and I will occasionally jump around in time to explain and connect to any pictures or videos I can post.
The part numbers reflect no chronology. They are only for reference. Better to note the time periods at the top of each part.


Part 6: Naked Acceptance
(Mid 1990s)

After I recorded my little fashion show for Mark and Brandon, Brandon asked if I would be interested in making more videos. He offered his services as camera man. I didn’t hesitate. I had left my husband in large part because I could not be myself in that relationship. When I tried to express my exhibitionist nature, he was not into it. It upset him. I went years being the wife he wanted and not able to even discuss by desires. Returning to who I am was goal number one for me.

I was enjoying the freedom that my new friends supported. Using their office as my apartment and launching point into my new life had so far been a wonderful experience. But it was scary. I also felt somewhat alone. Going from my parents’ house to the sorority, to my husband, I had never really been on my own. But now I was, and it was intimidating.

Brandon’s acceptance and interest in using me as his model made me feel like I had a partner, of sorts. Mind you I was not looking for a relationship beyond friends. My parents had found out that I had left my husband, and they were pressuring me to return to him. I was very confused, and had no idea of a direction, and was starting to think I would have to go back to that life. So, I wanted to make the most of my freedom now, without overcomplicating a possible return to my old life.

At first, this was working with Brandon. He was very professional with me. As amateur as our efforts were, he made me feel like a real model. He was the camera man, and I was the subject. He was good at giving me direction, and I could still do what I wanted. I always felt very sexy when he would video my posing and frolicking, and I felt safe with him.

I would talk often of my problems, and he was supportive. That may have been my mistake. I tend to overshare. The more I came to trust him, the more I wanted to be close to him. But he never showed signs of true interest. Our recording sessions would bring my libido to a boil. Some of the time I would be touching myself in the videos and I would become overwhelmed. But he was all business. It started to bother me. I didn’t want a relationship, but I wanted him to want me.

Brandon and I had a lot of mutual friends. That’s how I met my new landlords, Brandon and Mark, in the first place. We all worked at a theme park / movie studio in Orlando Florida. Brandon and I did not work directly together much. I mostly knew him through our friends. In these circles, Brandon was a leader. He made independent films and used a lot of us want-to-be actors in his projects.

One night while Brandon was working on a project at the office, and I was doing my best to distract him by cooking my dinner topless, he asked if I wanted to go with him to a party. I knew our friends were throwing him a party for his birthday, at a bar just North of Orlando. I had been intending to go. But now that Brandon asked me to go with him, to his birthday party, I thought he was finally going to make his move.

Brandon picked me up at the office/apartment and drove us to the bar. The dynamic was different, as I think we both were wondering if this was a date. The party was fun, but as we mostly mingled with our friends, and often not together, it did not feel like a date.

On the drive home, I wasn’t sure what to say. It was his birthday. He set this up to leave the party with me. He was in a good mode, but I had no idea what he was thinking. So, I asked, “What should we do now?”.

“You should get naked.”, he answered.

“You really think I should?”, I asked, looking around at the surrounding traffic. But I had hardly finished my question before pulling my shirt off over my head. I realized mid-question that I did not want to give him the opportunity to say he was joking.

As I continued to undress, he kept looking over at me with wide eyes. I was naked around him regularly, but this was the first time we were in public, as much as being in the car is public. And this was the first time it was not for the camera, or me just relaxing in the apartment. This was arguably a date. It was new territory for us. I was not undressing for me, but for him… and perhaps others on I-4.

I sat there naked for a minute with no conversation. I could tell he was nervous. I took his hand and brought it to my chest. All the times he directed my actions, or adjusted my clothes, etc. while videotaping, he had never really touched me. We both relaxed a bit, and I reclined my seat. He caressed me as I put my arms over my head and closed my eyes, peeking only occasionally as I sensed the sweep of the street lights across my body.

I asked if he thought people could see me. He said it was too dark, and pointed out that we could not see into their cars. I thought he was right, and I felt some of the thrill recede. I reached up and turned on the overhead light. He pulled away to put both hands on the wheel. I asked if he could see. He looked down at me and said, “Yes.”. I meant see the road, but I think he knew. I pulled his hand back to my body and imagined the passing cars all watching. He mentioned that we could get pulled over with the light on. I smiled and let out a little moan to indicate pleasure. I was having amazing sensations from head to toe. His caress was wonderful. But it was connecting with someone in this way (for the first time in my life), while completely exposed, that brought my pleasure to a climax.

As we were nearing the office/apartment I asked if he thought I should go in like this. He said no, that I can’t do that. I felt the moment deflate a little. Then he picked up my skirt from the floorboard and told me I should just wear this and my heels. The sensations were returning. My skirt was accompanied by a slip, as it was sheer. But he left the slip on the floor.

When he unnecessarily parked far from the apartment, I began to think he understood. It was just what I needed. He was nothing like my husband. These emotions mixed with the excitement I felt anticipating the walk to the apartment.

As I sat in the now quiet car in just my skirt and heels. He looked over at me as if to say, “You really doing this?”. I thumbed my purse strap over my shoulder, gave him a quick smile, swung the door open, and stepped out into the light of the parking lot.

When we closed ourselves safely in the apartment, both filled with the excitement of the moment, I put my arms around him, pushed my body up against him and asked, “What do you think about that? Do you think the neighbors saw?” He said I sure closed the car door loud, and he expected I would walk along the darker path next to the buildings, instead of right down the middle of the well-lit parking lot. I pulled away and asked if he was upset. He told me it was the hottest thing he had ever seen.

I kissed him. We made out on the sofa for a while, but that was it. He didn’t spend the night.

I didn’t come out and say it, but I thought I made it obvious that I wanted him to stay. He seemed a little nervous. Maybe he thought I was too drunk? Maybe he thought I was only giving him a birthday present? Maybe it was because I was still married? At the time, I did not know.

I did not see Brandon for a few days, which was rare. So, I called him. We had a good talk, but it was hard to gauge if something was wrong. I could not stop thinking about how good I felt that night driving home. He enjoyed watching me do something I enjoy – a thing many people think wrong. And he suggested it, even if he was joking. I felt accepted in a way I thought could never happen.

I was determined to do something about this. Knowing myself, I first feared I could take it too far, then a realization. It would be fine if I took it too far. I was looking for acceptance in extremes. He would either embrace me for who I am, or it would never be anyway.

My plan was to go to his apartment (where he lived, not the office) and knock on his door wearing only my little black sheer skirt and heels, and tell him I needed to get the rest of my clothes out of his car. Not only would this be hysterical, I also thought he would love it, or I would learn what I needed to know.

The problem was, I could not find the skirt anywhere. I searched desperately. It was not uncommon for me to lose clothes, but this was a tiny apartment. I had no idea where it was. So, I decided it would be more impactful anyway if I were completely naked.

I took a shower and revved myself while waiting for it to get late. When the time came, I opened the door to head for the car, and I couldn’t do it. So much of me would love to drive over to his house like that, but I was just too scared. So, I put on a t-shirt that was long enough to cover everything, and headed out.

I had never been in his apartment, but I knew where it was. I had been to a pool party at his complex, and his apartment was visible from the pool. (That party was broken up by the police. I was somewhat to blame – a story for another time.)

Driving over, I planned to leave my shirt in the car and go knock on his door. But I could not park anywhere close, so I wore the shirt and walked barefoot up to his door. It was brightly lit by the porch light, but it was a private alcove, not visible to much but a few windows of a far building. I did a nervous little jig, took a deep breath, pulled off the shirt and threw it around the corner. Knocking on the door, I thought how this is not the first time I stood knocking on a door in the nude while hoping for acceptance.

From inside, I heard, “Holy shit!” Brandon saw me through the peep hole. Not the presentation I had planned, but all the same, I guess. He opened the door wearing sweatpants and a wide goofy smile and ordered me in. As he shut the door, he tossed out a few more expletives out of astonishment. He asked if I walked up like that, and as I tried to get out my funny line about needing my clothes from his car, he interrupted with, “You know I have a roommate?”. He pointed to a door across the living room. I did not know. That could have been interesting. Turned out his roommate was not home. Nevertheless, Brandon ushered me into his bedroom.

After taking a few minutes to settle down, I asked him if he was going to put me out like this. He teased me a bit, but it became clear he really enjoyed my little stunt. I was so relieved. I was giddy the rest of the night. I remember well because, like a lot of things Brandon was around, it was caught on video. As we hung out in his room, and had a few beers, he started taping me. I guess we were more comfortable like this, as compared to how things ended the night of his birthday. But unlike our other recording sessions, this time he touched me.

The video begins after Brandon asked me to dance for him. Of course, I love to be in front of the camera, and I love to dance, but I was very nervous about having to improvise a sexy dance. That only added to my endless nervous giggling. I made every excuse and distraction to avoid the dancing.

Honestly, I had come to his apartment that night to make love, not a video. But I am so grateful now that I have these tapes to look back. I was never the prettiest girl around, but I can see I was glowing with a great energy, an adorable charm. I was beautiful. The tapes allow me to be there again. And what happened that night was instrumental in the direction of the rest of my life.


Some of this video titled “Nervous Naked Joy” can be seen on OCC under the thread “Sexy Homemade Recordings From Years Past”. I apologize that the video is old and much of the audio is messed up. It was necessary to cut out the bad places. I tried to patch it some, but with the music in the background, it is still pretty rough. I usually mute my videos and just put nice music over them, but a good bit of the charm is lost without the original audio. I find it lovely. I hope you do as well.