Arranging play time between a wife and the third creates a more swinger-like dynamic IMO.
I expect my wife would gladly have sex with a female, but it would have to include the 'plausible deniability' element. It would have to be a semi-drunk hook up, maybe a one time thing. It would have to be without a stigma, so kept secret. It would have to keep me in my comfort zone, she wouldn't want to change our relationship. It would likely not be a threesome, for fear of an emotional connection. And, she would not want pressure from me to go further or do more than she was comfortable with. That's a really strict set of conditions.
Arranging loses the deniability, but solves a whole bunch more.
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