[lonmol]

1. General Kenobi, this is our most desperate hour. You MUST see these droids safely delivered to Alderaan. Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope! 2. Of course, Alderaan is not a wealthy planet, so we can't offer you much in the way of compensation. 3. (Sigh) Here we go again. It's always the same thing. Help us Obi Wan this, and save us Obi Wan that...but never so much as a farthing for my trouble. 4. Do you think it's cheap rescuing people from Sith Lords, Luke? I'm living on a fixed income. I haven't even bought a new pair of underwear since the Clone Wars. Fuck it! We'll just stuff the droids in a box, and drop them off at FedEx. 5. However...I AM...prepared to offer myself to you for whatever degrading sexual favors you may deem necessary. 6. (???) 7. Nothing would be too perverted or disgusting, I assure you. I am well versed in multiple techniques; Bespin Steamers, Tatooine Tractor Pulls, Hoth Blizzards, Dirty Ewoks...8. Quickly, Luke...9. We haven't a moment to lose! 10. We MUST see these droids safely delivered to her on Alderaan, it's the Jedi way...