[bigi442000]

Paris Eurabian Match - "All the News That Fits After Beheading"
Jelzeel 11, 2175.

Archeological Find Proves Women Once Had Hair Down There

In an unprecedented find, Professor Ibn Ali von Gottenberg, of the University of the 100 Exploded Martyrs, Hamburg, announced an almost unbelievable find in the home of a recently executed heretic in Bittburg -- An odd shaped disc, silver in color, that when analyzed appears to have held the complete works on one Bigi442000, generally reputed to have been a holy man among the Satanic Americans approximately two centuries ago. The disc reputedly has representations of numerous American and European (now known as Eurabian) women of doubtful virtue posing in unchaste positions. What is most important, says Professor von Gottenberg, "is that it proves beyond cavil that women once indeed had great tufts of dark hair...well, down there!"

The fragementary work of Bigi442000, up to now no more than three or four legendary discs of unknown date, has long been a subject of controversy among scholars. Some argue that the cryptic logo OCC stands for One Complete Church, while Professor Ali al'Faisal Loon a'Tic has stated with complete certainty that it clearly stood for Open Clams Casino, a veiled reference to the nether regions of certain unchaste persons.

What became of the dark forests of matted hair in the nether regions has long been a mystery. Many scholars have suggested that in fact such a thing never could have existed at all. "Our pure women could never grow such lustful appendages," claimed Professor Mohandes Ibn Saud Ali Oop of the University of the 1,000 Blown Up Brothers, Lyons.
Others, including Caliph Mad Iman al Ibn'sane, have asserted that in approximately 1995 (Old Style), women in America and Europe began removing their disease ridden follicles with sharp objects, the better to please the evil men of the time, and at great risk to their nether parts.

Perhaps the most accepted theory is that of noted Imam Hussein al ibn Chirac, of the Mosque of 1,000,000 Blown to Smithereens Heroes, Paris. Says the holy man: "I am sure that all the disgusting hair disappeared in one night. It was clearly the work of the demon Mr. Myxlplyx, a noted devil that plagued the evil Americans in the Twentieth Century (Old Style). This doomed American women to a fate of stubble, ingrown hair and rug burn, a fitting penalty indeed for their unchaste behavior."

Professor von Gottengberg is currently being held for questioning at the Bastille of the 500,000 Self-destroyed Gentle men, Paris.