An old story from the past
A buddy of mine came to visit and was sporting two black eyes.
"How did you get those"? I asked.
"I was at the grocery store and noticed this lady wearing a loose sundress. She was bent over the melons, making her selection when I noticed that her dress was caught, stuck in her butt crack. She slapped me very hard when I pulled it out and told me to leave those things alone"!
"Hard enough to give you two black eyes"? I asked.
"No. She slapped me again when I tried to put it back".
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