I think you're
absolutely desperate to lose your virginity, and while it's often quick and unsatisfying, it's satisfying enough to want more. And lots of it!
I lost my virginity to a good looking girl, but after that it was for quite some time a case of 'anything will do'. I'm talking about the ages of say, 17-19. Yes, some half-decent ones in there, but more than my share of fright-nights!
The ones less experienced than me at that age could sometimes be less than satisfying, simply through their own inexperience and sometimes fear of getting pregnant (even with condoms involved), fear of oral, fear of whatever. Sometimes, there was the odd one who was willing to go to bed, sometimes even for the sake of getting rid of their own virginity, but who lacked any sort of personality. They could look great, but couldn't buy a personality at the charisma counter in Woolworths. Some of them could be seen as 'I really shouldn't have...'
But one stands out, when I got drunk one night and one girl who had a fancy for me, and I'd known for a long time but never fancied myself hauled me back to her flat. I, in my drunkenness, thought I was just going to crash on her sofa. She was still a teenager, plain looking and maybe the best part of 20st in weight (280lbs, American friends).
Now, I was really pissed (in the British sense of the word...I mean I was very, very drunk!) and she started undressing me. I honestly believed my boots and jeans were coming off to make me more comfortable under a duvet on her sofa
Anyway, I'm naked and getting aroused by her hand job, blow job actions rather than any conscious decision of my own, but now aware what she was doing. Well, guys, as the philosopher says, 'a stiff prick has no conscience'.
Fuck it...just do it!
I roll onto her and I'm in, when suddenly I realise that the whiff of body odour I once got off her in a pub wasn't just an unfortunate incident at the end of a hot day, but routine. She didn't do washing under her arms, didn't do deodorant
I'm fucking a very fat, exceptionally smelly woman!
I gagged and gagged at the horrific smell. I mean, it was rank!!!!
I don't care how drunk I was, when she asked me to go down on her I was still sober enough to imagine it would be no different down there and mumbled the words 'I just want to fuck you' at her, even though I now didn't, and sober never would have.
I should have said 'sorry, I'm too drunk to perform', left and maybe slept under a tree in a park or something, but by now it was 'well, any and every hole is your goal', (we all like to crank the numbers up at that age, don't we?) so I finished off, rolled off her and thankfully fell asleep. When I awoke in the morning -on the sofa, she went to her own bed- it was like the entire flat had taken on the aroma of her armpits (and fanny -UK meaning of the word again) and I gagged again before managing to dress, stumble into the morning sun and promptly throw up at the kerb.
And that, fellas, is the stand-out one that I really really shouldn't have...