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Old 08-02-2022, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by SyFoster View Post
Kajuk, great post. Although never married, I have been in long-term committed relationships; and my experience lines up with yours. I understand.
One woman I was with for a few years-At the beginning, the sex was average/normal. After a year or so, she had zero interest in it. And when we did do it, she just laid there, zero input or involvement.
Another woman, for the first two years or so, the sex was mind blowing and constant. She was hot, gorgeous. Then, as time went on, she just gradually lost interest and it became a once-a-month type thing. And when we did do it, she just wanted a quick in and out, 5 or 10 minutes at the most. No oral, little kissing, just missionary position. She was still physically dynamite, so that really sucked being around a perfect female body, beautiful face, and little access to it. Nothing else had changed. Every other part of our relationship was fine. She was the most sexually talented woman I’d been with. It was like if Michael Jordan had played for one season, and then decided to never play basketball again. Such a waste! She and I went over a year without any sexual contact at all, and she didn’t miss it one bit. Yep, sounds just like what I went through.

I think the overall moral and consensus is that most likely, whatever level the sex starts at when you first begin having it, once the months and years start rolling by, she’s going to do less (like no blowjobs) and the frequency will be majorly diminished. And while this is mostly a female phenomenon, it doesn’t just apply to women. I knew a woman who had been married for about 5 years. Her relationship with her husband was great, but the guy had zero interest in sex, or her body. When they started dating and first got married, the sex was fine/normal. But after a year or so, he never initiated it or even brought it up. If she wanted to have sex, it was basically up to her to come into the room naked and make it happen. And even then, he wasn’t really into it. If she ever tried to fuck him more than once every few weeks, he would complain that his ‘dick hurt’ and he didn’t want to do it. My best friend is going through this right now as we speak. But for him and his wife it is actually both of them. He tells me they have not had sex in the past 4 years. Partly because he lost interest because of stress and she lost interest from depression. but now he wants sex but she will not hear of it. So I invite him to my house from time to time and my old lady gives him sex or a blowjob. Because that's what friends do; right? lol

I don’t think anyone expects sex to stay exactly the way it is at the very start of a relationship. But experience has shown that as years go by, it becomes something that doesn’t even resemble what it once was.
Yes, I understand it really is a much more complicated thing with such things as stress, health and complicated relationships. I can fully understand how things are different at the beginning of a relationship as apposed to years into one. But I really feel if she really cred she would at least spread her legs for you while you jacked off. or visa versa for the woman. There have been times When a woman I was with at the time will be drunk and pawing all over me and it was more irritating than sexy and I turned them down. But Hell, I gave them a good boning the next day not a year later. lol

This thread was started with the question what did we do about it when our marriage (relationship) turned sexless or less interesting. I for one do not have an answer. My best friend cheats. It turns out he has had some really interesting stories for me that I really enjoy hearing. I chose not to cheat when I was married. Looking back I sometimes wish I had because the marriage ultimately failed. but hind sight is 20/20
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