Here it is. I tried to make it....ah....entertaining for y'all, but i didn't make any of it up. I hope it doesn't make me sound too much like a perv - what can I say except that I had a very good time...
klondike
I hope you don't mind if I reflect one more time on Portland's night of naked fun last Saturday. No pics can do it justice (and I had some problems in the pic department). Anyway, the following afternoon, I drove by the area where the WNBR nighttime ride had taken place just 12 hours earlier, and it was almost as if the whole event had been a dream. The scene looked so totally different, so placid. There was no evidence of what had gone on the night before, as Portland had returned once again to "normal". I almost had to pinch myself. Last night........was it JUST last night?............zzzzzzz...........(Klondike drifts off into a dream)..............
Saturday June 9th, 10:30PM: As i arrived at the warehouse holding the pre-ride dance party, one and a half hours before the ride itself, kids on bikes careened towards me from all directions. All were clothed at this point and just arriving from homes across southeast Portland. I had to drive very carefully to avoid hitting them. They stashed their bikes temporarily all along 6th avenue on both sides of Madison St, while I parked just north of the intersection, opposite the Organics to You warehouse where the big party was already in progress. At the entrance, hundreds milled about as if waiting for something to happen.
Setting up in my car, I waited too, while more “soon to be naked” bikers arrived and zoomed by amidst whoops and hollers and flashing little bike lights. I tested my camera and took a few pics. The atmosphere was electric and laughter filled the air. Rain earlier in the day had let up now, and the night air was cool, but not chilly. Perfect for riding, i thought....
The dance had started around 9PM, and by 11PM, a considerable amount of booze had already been consumed. One inebriated girl walked toward my car around 11:30 and stopped in a doorway along the sidewalk. She removed her panties, squated down to pee, and then realized that there was someone (me) in the car ten feet away. Oops....time to move on! Five minutes later, the first naked female appeared near where she had just been, walking past my door towards the warehouse. Things were starting to shape up. Or rather, nice shape! Just your ordinary babe strolling nude down the sidewalk.
The World Naked Bike Ride has only been around for about three years, and it still has that youthful, uncorrupted spirit about it. Picture early naked miles, before the hoards of cameras arrived. And so tonight it was basically nothing more than a young, raucous crowd ready to party....and get naked. Sure enough, before long clothes started to come of. Passing motorists honked and stared in disbelief. At this point, I got out of my car and joined the throng. Wouldn't you have? Most everyone was still across the street from me, but luckily, quite a few babes arrived from the north and undressed to my immediate left before crossing over to join them. It was a sight I'll never forget and reminicent of the old naked mile tapes. These girls were just typical Portland area youth, but suddenly they were peeling off clothes in front of my very eyes, and in the middle of a city street no less. One, barely 21, undressed so close to me I accidently stepped on her clothes after she had dropped them near my feet. She was unbelievably beautiful and soon gloriously au natural from head to toe. All the other girls looked and acted college age too. I took a deep breath as would any guy suddenly faced with a scene right out of the girls locker room after cheerleading practice.
And then - the ride began! With one huge group hollar, or was it a scream? - nakedness streamed onto Madison St from 6th ave and headed towards the Hawthorne Bridge. With cameras flashing and movies rolling, hundreds of young people began their nighttime trek, while the babes across the street to my left hopped on their bikes and joined them. I looked hard at the faces and bodies as they streamed by, too numerous to count. Probably a third were women. All were young and many were alt girls. Lots of different shapes, but all beautiful. They looked so happy and I imagined few had ever exposed their bodies in public before. This was a side of Portland I had never seen, and I soon beamed with pride.
The bikers continued to leave for downtown Portland in waves. Possibly there were 500 or more in all. The bikeportland.org website said it was the biggest and best ride yet. I didn't follow them around town like i did the daytime riders. It seemed pointless, and possibly dangerous too. Pointless because I knew that in an hour, they would be back, and I could mingle with the returnees then. So after they disappeared, there was a lull, and I headed across the street to the warehouse pumping out music and dance to whomever walked by. And I waited. And waited......
Already I had gotten a taste of my first real Naked Mile so to speak, but there was much more fun still ahead. The ride that had gotten sort of a rolling start also had a rolling return. The pack never really left together and so it certainly wasn’t going to stay together, and so pretty soon, the less adventurous began returning along Hawthorn Blvd, just south of the warehouse. I could hear them before I saw them, and what I saw soon enough were naked shapes skidding to a stop and dismounting ten feet from the entrance to the dance- first a trickle, then a more or less steady stream. Fully nude babes walked right by me and headed into the warehouse to boogy in the buff. Some of them were awesome! If I was twentysomething, I would have gotten naked on the spot and joined them. Many more hotties milled about on the sidewalk outside the entrance, talking to each other and seemingly oblivious to their nakedness being on public display. Maybe the world could be like this someday, everyday, not just once a year. Portland, you're putting most other WNBR rides to shame!
Bikers continued to arrive back at the dance during the next hour or so, and nudes continued to linger on 6th ave. But then there was a noticable lull. Was that the end? - there must still be more out there. It couldn't possibly be over. I sensed that there weren't nearly enough bikers back yet, but little did I know that over half of them were still out and about, and that they would soon be returning en masse. Thats precisely what happened, and so I braced myself as the last big wave of hollering crazies circled the warehouse and made their way back to the party. There were probably 200 in the last wave, all sweaty and hot and naked and beaming. Holy cow! I wanted to let them know how proud I was of them as they pulled up and hastily parked their bikes. So i joined the crowd as they celebrated with some antics and stunt biking before finally dispersing and going about the rest of their evening. All that naked skin glistening under the street lights, darting all around me, slowly began to seek out clothes and backpacks and clothed companions. And I began to feel sadness. Sad because visions of painted nipples and shiny pasties, of alt dream girls strutting their stuff in the buff, of tall, slender maidens with normal jobs and normal pubic hair, and of incomparable butts joining what seemed like an otherwise typical, Saturday night dance - all began to overtake the fading reality. It was over, but then again it will never be over. Not as long as there are pics and the internet and my memories of a Portland few know exists. I'm just glad to have been a witness, and to be able to share it all with you. Bike on, Portland, and show the world how a World Naked Bike Ride should be held!
Klondike