[biglou]

When I was in my twenties, there was a lesbian in my social circle, Tara, and she rented a basement apartment in an old Victorian house in the city, and they had an in-ground pool in the back yard. Well, Tara and I struck what was essentially a wordless pact that we were all about getting hot chicks naked in that pool. It would always start when we were out at the bar. In my broke twenties, the bar made very little sense to me: why are we paying too much for alcohol, ceding control of the stereo to some stranger, and sitting in this cigarette-choked room full of random assholes? Now that I'm an old man, and don't find myself accidentally in rooms full of hot young women, it makes more sense, but at 22, they were falling off the shelves. Anyway, just about every time that Tara and I were out at the bar, at some point we would lock eyes across the table, silently harden our gaze and nod imperceptibly like 80s action heroes, and then we would each start whispering to select members of our party that we were "convening a meeting of the midnight swim club". And like magic, all the hot chicks would walk out of the bar, drive to her apartment, and skinny dip. Annoying dudes trying to make their play? Just don't invite them. Leave them standing there confused, trying to figure out if it was something they said.

We pulled that scam once or twice a week for an entire summer, and we saw SO many hot naked dames. I'm 6'3" and was reasonably muscular, and either my partner in crime or I hatched the brilliant plan to assist the ladies in floating, which meant they would lie flat while tall strong biglou helpfully lifted them, Tarzan-style, up so that their tits and pussy peeked over the surface of the water, about a foot from my eyeballs. As I am typing this out twenty years later, I cannot BELIEVE that this worked, but it worked time and time again, on the strength of Tara's testimony. "Oh, it's awesome, you've gotta try it!" Coming from me, that's 50/50 to get me slapped, but coming from her, it's a trusted sister telling the gospel truth.

And of course, that was the secret sauce of the entire scheme, that it came from another female. If I say "Hey ladies, come get naked at my house", I probably get nowhere. But she says it, and it's taken in a whole different light, DESPITE everybody knowing she's into pussy, which is a little mysterious in retrospect.

It was actually kind of a heartwarming lesson in friendship. Tara and I were highly dissimilar people. She was not a lipstick lesbian by any stretch of the imagination. She was more a furry-legged earthdyke, a couple of notches more irrational than the average 20-something female (which is already a LOT), and kind of annoyingly woke a decade before that was a thing. But Tara and I didn't need to have everything in common. We needed to find the one thing we had in common, and lean into that one thing hard, and to this day, I am never unhappy to run into Tara, because we bonded deeply over our shared obsession with ass.

I haven't thought about this in a very long time. Thanks, thread.

Man, youth is wasted on the young.