Quote:
Originally Posted by meg2001
Hmm like I said sometimes it's easier to know that you are turned on or off than it is to know why. But it's not about sloppy vs elegant. I think the things I mentioned as turn offs don't work for me because they make me feel sl*tty.
I think it comes down to reason for the exposure. If someone accidentally sees me nude through the curtain of a changing room, that's a turn on. If I get caught in the rain and my shirt becomes sheer and people see, that's a turn on. If I'm having sex and a roommate walks in and sees me in the act, that's a turn on.
But if I am the one orchestrating my own exposure, for the sake of my own arousal, the whole thing backfires. I think there's a deep shame and guilt associated with being sl*tty for me. So I need a trick of the brain to avoid that getting in the way.
So when I was a puppet, in a nude performance art piece, with other people posing and exposing my body, it allowed me to be completely free from that guilt and shame. I wasn't showing this crowd my pussy lips so it would turn me on. Someone else was showing them my pussy lips for the sake of this intellectual artistic message about society. And the fact that it turned me on was a wonderful side effect that I could enjoy without interference.
I don't know if that makes sense or not but it's the best I can describe it.
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I does make sense. One of the things people write about on this forum is "plausible deniability." Men talk about their wives or girlfriends showing off their bodies, but being able to deny it was intentional (and in some cases it probably wasn't). For example: "I didn't know my swim suit was transparent when wet," or "I didn't realize people could see into our room when I was walking around naked."
In your case it was the posers that were making you expose yourself, which, as you say, absolved you from any guilt. I'm glad to hear it was a turn on for you in any case. Thanks for posting!