I have been taking it for granted, but for many years I have been able to get my wife to talk about the GOOD things she misses about her ex-boyfriends, sexually. She kept resisting and saying she left them for a reason and that they were terrible people (which I get; I had an abusive ex-wife), BUT I tell her to remember the FUN and sexual parts (I had a few fun moments even with my horrible ex-wife).
So, I have been able to get her to vocalize the fun things she misses, and does she ever love it. Everything from calling out their names to re-telling some stories in great detail. She has amazing orgasms that way, dozens at a time.
When she is in middle of the orgasms of her life, she asks me if it's okay, I tell her yes, then I have great orgasms, too.
I think it's because her entire life everyone thinks she is a super prude, frigid, etc, but even her best friends have no idea some of the things she has done.
They wouldn't believe her if she told them anyway.