[anogrefromaswamp]

Another pair of downpants disasters from my uber-fortunate past:

The first takes place at a gym. Me and my buddy had just finished a lift and were making our way out when I noticed the floor manager (supervisor? clerk? the person who keeps an eye on the gym, scans people in etc.) cleaning some vacant workout machines. She looked vaguely uncomfortable, embarrassed even, and I was unsure why until she squatted down to clean a leg curl machine. The movement caused her tan khaki work pants to slip down and her black collared shirt to rise up, exposing two or three inches of what should have just been pink thong. But the wardrobe malfunction was a two-for-one in that her thong had slid to one side of her butt, exposing maybe the top third of her crack as well. The girl stood after several seconds, slightly red-faced by that point, and pulled her pants up a little. I got the feeling that she wanted to adjust more, but absolutely did not want to draw attention to herself. My friend and I reached the exit soon after, at the next time I saw the girl working she was wearing a sturdy belt and had her shirt tucked in to her khakis.

The next takes place back in college. I was hanging out with two girls I was friends with at the time, having a couple of drinks and blowing off homework. One of the girls was a petite blonde, cute, a little promiscuous but very easy going. I probably could have gotten with her if I wasn't such a self-sabotaging sad sack, but that is a story for another day. On this day, she was wearing blue jeans and a long white top, somewhat low-cut but nothing too daring. The outfit seemed modest enough, but both halves seemed to be hell bent on embarrassing her. At first it was just her jeans. Literally every time this girl stood up she had to give her pants a mighty tug with both hands, as if they were two whole sizes too big. Her green thong slid into view a little bit, but her shirt was long enough to hide the vast majority of the damage. However, about halfway through our hangout, she stood up to dance with the other girl, music humming in the background and the alcohol beginning to kick in. She could only make a couple of moves before reaching for her boob and saying, under her breath, in disbelief, "I almost had a nip slip". From that point on, the girl spent the rest of the night repeatedly yanking both her pants and shirt back into place. While her top did start to slip quite low and her jeans didn't seem to fit her at all, I never saw anything other than a peek or two of her thong. It was funny also, because this girl had a great body and usually wore clothes that fit well and flattered it. She must have not gotten around to doing laundry in a while or something. Regardless, it was an entertaining show.