[jdviole2]

I think for most married couples the most memorable times are the "firsts". For example. Our first Chistmas in our first house. Helena loved Christmas. There were three kids in the family when she grew up and her dad wasn't a rich man so many of the gifts were practical and only a few were "useless toys". But she loved decorating the house. We didn't drive at the time and both of us were just proud (and stupid) enough to not want to call our parents for rides. Cabs were out due to the expense (my first year my salary was not very high) so we used public transportation and walked where ever we needed to go. We were in walking distance of grocery, drug, and other stores. That first year we walked together to a nearby mall and bought an artificial tree and ornaments. By the time we got home we were both worn out. After resting for a little while we went out again and back to the mall. We finished buying the ornaments and lights and cards to send (another first as a couple) and trudged home again. We had one more trip to make that day this time by bus to a more expansive mall to start shopping for each other. We never set limits on ourselves as to how much to spend. We took whatever free money we had and split it 50/50. Then we would head for the mall and both go our own ways. We would store our purchases in lockers at the mall and then when it was time to go home would retrieve the gifts and divide up the bags to carry home. The next day it was back to the mall again and more shopping. I can't remember how many days we spent shopping both for ourselves and parents/friends. That first year Helena wanted to set up the tree early. So, setting a precedent for further years, we put the tree and other decorations up just after Thanksgiving. Oh did we have fun. Watching Helena decorate a tree was a pure joy. She would agonize over placement of each ornament and would sometimes change positions a dozen times before she was satisified. She was so happy. It took almost the whole day to get the tree the way she wanted and the rest of the decorating in the living room just perfect. Then we shut off the lights, turned on the tree, and cuddled together on the couch and just admired her handywork. That may well have been the happiest we ever were. I know Helena always used that as the example of a perfect time we had together. Then we would spend the next several weeks wrapping and placing the presents. Both of us would tease the other by only putting one or two gifts a day under the tree. That first year her big gift was a synthetic star sapphire and real diamond ring. It was her favorite of all her jewelry. I probably saw that ring on her finger more that any other. And there were many others. Helena loved jewelry. I always wished I was a rich man so I could have covered her in jewels. As it was I would buy her a new piece of jewelry for every Christmas. Some were genuine stones some were man made. All the diamonds were real. She owned over 50 rings of all kinds. Two months before she died she spent an entire afternoon taking each of the rings out of their boxes, cleaning them, and putting them on. The second Christmas I bought her a stereo. She loved listening to music while she worked. The good news was that we were within a mile of an electronics store. The bad news is that speakers are HEAVY. That is one time I should have taken a cab but didn't. It took four trips. One each for the two speakers and one each for the turntable and amplifier. I hid those in the basement until Christmas eve and then after she was in bed brought it upstairs and assembled it so it was there in the morning. She kept adding traditions to our Christmas until the complete celebration took over a month, start to finish. For Helena the saddest day of the year was the day we had to take down the tree and put all the decorations away. Helena's birthday was another occasion that over the years got more and more elaborate until it became a "birthday week". (Helena wanted to go for Birthday Month but I finally put my foot down). The "week" included special meals, and fun things to do, culminating in the grand present opening. I tried each year to top the year before but that became very hard to do. One of the years that she really loved was the great treasure hunt. I hung balloons all over the living room and gave her a pin. One at a time she had to pop a balloon. Some were filled with confetti so they threw stuff all over the room. Some contained hand written gift certificates good for dinner, or a movie, or something else I knew she would like. Then some had hand written clues as to where she would find one of her presents. It took hours to finish the treasure hunt. In some of the balloons were parts of a map. She had to accumulate all the pieces to find her ultimate present (I tried each Birthday and Christmas to have one "great" gift). The map directed her to the garage where she found two 6 foot tall curio cabinets to display her collections in. She hated that fact that she never could seem to come up with anything like that for my birthdays. I always told her (and meant every word) that each day with her was like my birthday and Christmas rolled into one. That sounds sappy but I meant every word and still do. Just waking up in the morning facing her and seeing her sleep made me happier than any gift ever could. No matter how crappy my day at work I only had to see her smile and it all went away. Like I talked about yesterday she always worried about my happiness being married to her. If she could see me now I think she would finally believe what I told her for all those years. I'm not happy now. Not happy like I used to be. What I wouldn't give to feel her in the bed next to me, to see her sleeping there, to hear her snore again. (Yes Helena, I said snore. She denied it but she could wake the dead with that snore.) It feels more like I am visiting this house how instead of living there. It doesn't seem like mine, because of course it wasn't mine, it was ours. Half of me is gone, never to be replaced. Well lets get to the pictures. First is Helena near a restaurant (I think.) in Michigan (I think) in the early 80's. The second picture is one from Helena's dad in 1974. Third is another shot of Helena in Arches National Park from the late 70's. Number four is Helena and the fall color in Colorado from around 1979/80. Number five looks like Helena is attempting some weird yoga position but is simply trying to take a nice, quiet, unobserved, pee. As usual I was there to document the occasion. The last picture is what maybe the final bikini picture. Though I think there is at least one picture of her in a bikini I made for her, I can't seem to find it. This is from 1975.