[jdviole2]

Today I'm going to talk briefly about sex. I strongly believe that what goes on between two people sexually is nobody's business but theirs. However, this brief story about sex should give you more insight into the way Helena thought and acted. She always worked hard planning things to get the best outcome for everybody in every situation. Helena had something happen to her when she was a very little girl. I'm not going to go into much detail except to say it involved a male relative and lots of inappropriate nude touching on many different occasions. As she got older it was difficult for her to experience intimate contact of any kind. She found it impossible to give or accept love with anyone but her parents. Though she dated and had a steady boyfriend when we met she told me it never went beyond kissing and clothed touching. It made her too uncomfortable. She said she had to force herself to do even that much because she thought it was what "normal" people did. She did not get any pleasure from it. She told me this story on our second date. I told her I understood and asked if it bothered her that when we met I had held her hand. She had an amazed look on her face when she said that with me it felt good. It felt normal. When we got home I asked her if I could kiss her goodnight. She didn't answer but took my face in her hands, and kissed me. During the next couple of weeks we would hold hands, kiss, and touch each other gently but no more than that. I didn't push. I figured that if were to go further it had to when she felt comfortable. I could wait. She was worth it. After I returned to Italy Helena began to worry a lot about our wedding night. She wanted it to be perfect. She wanted it to be special for both of us. She didn't want the trauma of her past to get in the way. She was afraid she would freeze up and ruin the night, making it memorable all right but for all the wrong reasons. I came back home a week before the wedding to help with things. She still was worried so decided to talk it over with her mom. Then she came up with a uniquely Helena plan. The wedding was on Saturday. I was staying with my parents until the big day. On Wednesday afternoon the doorbell rang. It was Helena. She came in and in a soft, slightly shaky voice said that she was thinking that we should take a practice run at the wedding night. Prior to that day I had not seen her naked, and she had never been naked in front of any man. We were both nervous. I am not going to provide details (like I said, nobody's business but ours) but I will say that she didn't hesitate or freeze up. We acted just like two kids playing a really fun adult game. On our wedding night we were both relaxed around the other and comfortable being naked in each others arms. The night was perfect. It was special. Later we always referred to that particular Wednesday as our "undress rehersal" for marriage. The first picture for today is another one from our painting project. Helena is stripping wallpaper. The people that lived in the house before us had trouble getting the wallpaper to stick so they used Elmers Glue. We had to use razor blades to remove the paper from the walls. This was in 1990. The second picture shows Helena on the corner of Hollywood and Vine waiting to be discovered in the mid 70's. I discovered her and made her come back to the hotel. The next picture is Helena taking a rest break during a session raking leaves at our first house in 1977. Back to California and the Japanese Bridge on the grounds of the Hunnington Hartford in 1978. Another swimsuit picture from the skinny dip trip. This is from a color print. The last shot is from a very small color print probably taken in 1979 or 80.