We texted back and forth while she was in classes and working her other job. She told me, “look, last night I was tired and a little drunk. It shouldn’t have happened. I was feeling rejected and lonely. You were paying attention to me. I’m not a sl*t.”
I asked her if I should apologize for what happened or tell her how much I enjoyed sharing an unexpected adventure with her.
She was quiet for a very long time and I held my peace.
She finally said, “don’t apologize. I let it happen because I wanted it. Well, I didn’t want that, but something else. Shit. Listen to me! I let you take advantage of me because I needed to feel wanted and desirable and I wanted to make my ex jealous—even though he’s just a toxic asshole. But I gave you as little as possible because I didn’t want to be easy. Do, I used you, too. It’s fucked up. You were trying to seal the deal in one night because your a typically horny man. I was trying to make a first date out of a sordid hook-up because I’m an emotional woman. I cornered and made you use me for a fucking four AM quickie because I was afraid I’d never get a second date again, or some psycho shit. Neither of us were satisfied. I’m the one who crowed and tried to use you as a trophy, rage texting my ex in the middle of the night to brag.”
We chatted about her ex. Too dramatic. Forget it.
I offered to pick her up for a real first/second date like a real person rather than a sex-addled wolf. I even bought some flowers and sent her a pic.
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