[lewdlee]

Chapter 2

Barely an hour after watching John use the remote to burst open the back of a woman’s pants, Mike was at his friend’s house with his new high-resolution camera. The two of them sat on the couch in the den, with the remote on the coffee table in front of them. As his friend played around with the camera, Mike studied the instructional flyer that came with the remote.

The remote was a product of something called Eugene Labs, for which no location was given. The artwork really did look like something out of the late 1950s or early 60s, Mike noted. A 40-something white man with dark, Brylcreemed hair smiled out from the document. Two younger men were pointing the remote at three young women, and all five were dressed in late ‘50s fashions. One girl’s panties had fallen to her ankles while her dress was blowing up Marilyn Monroe style, the second girl’s sweater had burst open to reveal a well-filled bullet bra, while the back of the third girl’s jeans had split wide open, revealing a pair of flower-print briefs. All three girls had varying expressions of alarm on their faces as they desperately tried to preserve their modesty. “The Magical Mischief Maker!” announced the flyer. “Amaze Your Friends! Scandalously Fun! A Swell Time Guaranteed!” it promised.

Mike turned over the back of the flyer. There was just a diagram of the remote and one simple sentence at the bottom. “Set ring to setting 1 and push yellow button for instructions,” he read aloud.

“Do it,” said John. “And prepare to be amazed. Just sit back and watch; don’t worry about recording anything yet.”

Mike slid the ring to 1, pressed the yellow button, and leaned forward on the couch in anticipation.

A strange wave of blue and white light radiated out from the remote, and the den began to fill with ghostly figures and shapes that materialized into solidity as the rest of the den furniture faded away, save the couch and the coffee table. A man appeared in front of him, about 6 feet tall and wearing a suit. Mike’s eyes widened when he recognized him as the real-life version of the man from the flyer. A bright and cheerful instrumental piece filled the air, reminiscent of the educational videos of so long ago. The den now looked like the set of an episode of Mad Men.

“Hello there, young man! Were you looking for more help on how to use the Magical Mischief Maker?” asked the man with 1950s narrator cheer. “My name is Eugene. I’m the founder of Eugene Labs and the inventor of the Magical Mischief Maker! What is your name, son?”

Mike tried to speak, but his voice came out as barely a croak when he answered.

“Well, Mikey! It’s very good to meet you today. If you will be joining Johnny on his exciting adventures with our Magical Mischief Maker, then you should know a little about how it works. Sit back, listen, and enjoy the show!”

Mike watched with the rapt attention he normally reserved only for blockbuster superhero movies. The magical presentation featured the adventures of two young men named Billy and Jimmy as they used the remote on different girls in their high school and attractive women in their community. Skirts went flying, buttons went popping, and seams went ripping everywhere. The magic wasn’t limited to telekinesis, and the power of the device to transform women’s clothing went far beyond simply a change in color. A pretty young teacher’s sensible dress disappeared in a flash and left her in Bettie Page pinup attire in front of her classroom. Every girl at the city pool had her bathing suit suddenly transformed into an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini. Most remarkably, at the highest settings, the device could transform bodies as well. The snobby, buxom prom queen was caught in a lie. Her DD-cup chest suddenly deflated to nothing, her strapless gown crashed to the floor, and her nose began to grow like Pinocchio’s. Another scene saw the boys visit the downtown office of Billy’s father. Jimmy set the ring to setting 10 and pushed the blue button. Work came to a screeching halt when every woman in the typing pool was suddenly stripped topless and their bustlines grew 3 cup sizes. Calypso music filled the office air, and every secretary cried out in surprise as their newly enlarged breasts began bouncing, flexing, and shaking in time with “Jump in the Line” by Harry Belafonte.

“Damn,” said Mike, watching the dancing tits in the typing pool. “I don’t think either of us are creative enough to come up with something like that.”

Suddenly, Eugene paused his narration and turned to Mike. “There, there, young man. Don’t get discouraged! Billy and Jimmy were not that creative, either. If you see a pretty girl but can’t decide what to do to her, just press the blue button! When you press the blue button, the creative forces inside the machine will come up with something you and Johnny are sure to find entertaining. All you have to do is stand back and watch.”

The presentation began to wrap up. Billy and Jimmy had now gone on to state college. While walking around campus, they came across a group photo that an entire sorority was taking in front on front of their house. The boys dialed the remote up to 10, pointed it at the sorority girls, then turned to face Mike, and grinned. The words “THE END?” appeared in the air of the den, and the music came to its conclusion.

Eugene then fielded questions from the boys. Mike had a ton of questions, and John had thought of more since he first started using the remote two days ago. When they were finished, Eugene bid them farewell and reminded them he was always available through the yellow button. The retro furniture then faded, and John’s den was restored to normal.

“Well?” said John, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m tired as hell, but since you brought your camera and now know about the remote, we need to go out—like, right now—and test it out. Also, I’m hungry. It’s after six o’clock and we should get dinner.”

“How about the food court at the mall? There’s food, and it might turn out to be a, uh, target rich environment,” offered Mike.

“Let’s go,” said John. “You’re driving.”

End of Chapter 2