[nothere]

Most of my medical issues are probably related to Agent Orange exposure during the military unpleasantness in the late 60's and early 70's. Consequently, my primary medical care comes through the VA Health system. Despite some bureaucratic anomalies, in my opinion the VA has always been respectful and treats patients with dignity. The hospital in my story behaves more like a branch of a major insurance company, always ready to deflect blame to patients.

As much as the VA respects privacy, an amusing thing happened when I was having cataracts removed. The story fits the theme. My VA hospital treated the procedure like I was getting major surgery. In pre-op, I was gowned, prepped and had eye drops inserted. The drops cause a major eye dilation to the point that looking at the ceiling lights from my bed was painful.

As I was being pushed toward the treatment area, I heard a sound like somebody had dropped something, followed by a loud female voice saying "Shit!". The guy driving my cart pushed me against the wall. He said somebody spilled some coffee all over the floor. It needed cleaned up because it was a slip hazard. He'd be right back. It would only be a few minutes delay.

A nurses aide was carrying a tray full of foam coffee cups to one of the medical teams when somebody bumped into her. The coffee went everywhere. A minute after my attendant parked me, a young lady, muttering to herself, entered a door across the aisle opposite from my feet. She pushed the door closed but was in such a hurry that she didn't notice that it was about a third open. I saw her go to a locker across the room and open it.

My somewhat sore dilated eyes watched as she yanked off her white tunic top and pants that were covered with wet coffee stains. She was wearing white undies and pantyhose. She got some paper towels from someplace nearby and tried to dab dry her front. Finally she pulled her pantyhose down, stepped out of them and rolled them with her wet uniform into a ball. She dumped the wet stuff onto the locker floor. She then quickly put on a light blue dress that buttoned up the front. It was like a duster that she may have normally worn over her whites.

Just before she reached the partially open door we made eye contact. She stopped with her mouth open in surprise. She looked back toward her locker, looked at me, rolled her eyes up and said "Shit" for the second time in less than five minutes. She then rushed past me. A minute or so later, I completed my journey to the treatment area.

I must admit that it was a sight for sore eyes.