[HeWhoDares]

Not sure if this will “work” as a thread, or if it’s been done before, but here goes...

Have you or your partner suffered an injury or accident while having sex? Or anyone got any stories of something funny/amusing that’s happened during the deed? Kind of like “porn outtakes” you sometimes see?

Some examples that have happened to or involved me in the past:

Injuries:

Have caused carpet burns in the past from fucking on the floor. Always put a blanket or towel down these days!

In my younger days, I tried to do a half nelson position with my then girlfriend (now my wife) after seeing it in a porn video and thinking it looked cool. I was struggling big-style to get my hands behind her head and ended up really hurting both her inner thigh muscles trying to force her legs wide enough apart. She was limping for days afterwards. Took a while for her to forgive that one!


Accidents:

When giving a girlfriend a (reluctant) facial I did the classic thing of aiming badly and ending up shooting my cum right into her eye. She was very pissed off with me and had a bloodshot eye afterwards!

Several times, usually when drunk or there’s been too much lube used, I’ve slipped into the wrong hole when it wasn’t anticipated. Usually gets me a slap!


Amusing occurrences:

Do quite a lot of anal on my wife. Often, when first entering or first starting to thrust, there’ll be a bit of air trapped which escapes a bit noisily. Always makes me giggle when it happens!

With a girlfriend at uni, we were having noisy sex one night. All of a sudden her housemate who’s bedroom was above us bangs on her floor and shouts “WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO REVISE!” Bit of a shock as we didn’t realise she was in, but it made us laugh.

Wife was a bridesmaid at her best friends wedding. She was in a black shiny dress. After reception drinks but before the sit down meal, we snuck up to our room for a quick fuck. We were so horny that we didn’t get totally naked, I just pulled the front of her dress down and lifted the skirt part up and fucked her like that. Anyway, somehow during our frantic fumblings a load of my cum ended up down the front of her dress. She was pissed off but the whole situation was quite funny. She cleaned up as best as she could but had to spend the rest of the wedding trying to hide/disguise the stain. At the meal, she made a big deal of “accidentally” dropping some ice cream down herself, to give her a good cover story. Everyone we were sitting with was so sympathetic but inside I was laughing at the real reason she’d done it!

Those are the ones that spring to mind for me. Would love to hear yours if you have any!