[biblio474]

No wetting, no public urination but this experience left an impression on me:

One summer during college I spent 3 months living in the pacific Northwest USA as an intern. Looking back now, it was pretty sweet. I was paid $700/week to work 9-5 M-F with nights and weekends completely off. No one really expected us to accomplish anything.

The ample free time in a nice city wasn't the only thing I recall, though. I also remember my (hopefully subtle) arousal on a date I had one Saturday afternoon/evening. Against general advice about dating a coworker, I started going out with a fellow intern in my program. We were both in the same department but managed under different subgroups so it felt a little less taboo.

We had gone out to dinner a couple of times after work and gone to a movie. However, this was our first longer date on a weekend. We planned to go to a music-in-the-park event. From her apartment it was about a 30 minute walk, but a nice walk mostly through the park. I went to her apartment (I think it must have been 2 or 2:30) bearing a picnic basket (side note, the basket and blanket cost 4X as much as the food in the basket). We strolled along a bench-lined path until we arrived at a stage set up in the park on a grassy field. I laid out a blanket and we sat down and relaxed. I brought a feast for us - cheese, tea sandwiches, fresh vegetables, and white wine discretely smuggled in snapple bottles.

We spent the afternoon there listening to music and chatting (surprisingly a lot about work since we had common gossip to talk about). After a couple hours (not sure exactly how long since we arrived), I excused myself to wait in the portaloo line. It probably took 10 minutes but I came back refreshed. Anyway at this point in time she gave no indication of needing to go. We continued chatting for the next couple of hours, probably a little bit looser and more graphic then a 4th date should have been, but fueled by white wine.

Anyway, when the last group announced their final song the sun was starting to go down. I started to pick up the last remnants from our feast and load them into the basket. As the last song was finishing, I folded up the blanket and wiped off my pants from the inevitable grass that sticks during a lawn picnic. We cheered for the last group and we started to head out -- us and thousands of other people.

Since it was getting dark we started to discuss taking a slightly longer route back on a real street where it would be safer then going through a park (this was pre-Uber and Lyft when finding a taxi after a special event was nearly impossible). As we were having this discussion I could tell she was thinking/calculating. The front of the portaloos for the event were just out of sight from where we were standing (so she couldn't see the line). If she had she might not have so casually said "I'm just going to use the bathroom before we head off". I nodded, and started walking with her towards the row of portable bathrooms (there were probably 15 or so, but there were a lot of attendees).

As we rounded the corner, we could see the line. Each stall had its own queue with at least 30 people in it. The line was at least double the length of when I had waited for 10 minutes. I could sense some panic in her eyes and then in her voice. "I'm not sure I want to wait that long" (however, I read the slight wavering in her tone though as "I'm not sure I can wait that long"). She followed up with "Do you think there are other bathrooms?". However, we were both in a new city, neither of us knew what was around and this was early smartphone days where I don't even think I had a map application. I replied "I didn't see any on our walk here, besides these, but maybe we can find a starbucks or something on our way back."

My date was playing it cool, but I could tell that she was pretty desperate for the bathroom. I of course legitimately was going to help her in her quest to get to a bathroom ASAP, but my mind could not help but wander. I was imagining the agony she must be experienced under the brightly colored sundress. I was thinking about how her mind must have been racing to keep it together and how much it pained her to avoid holding herself or at least taking a quick squeeze. While these thoughts were flashing through my head, I too was trying to play it cool.

When we got to the main street we were on the lookout. However, we soon realized that we weren't alone. We entered a nearby fast food restaurant and then a starbucks. Both had many people waiting for a single cubicle bathroom. Had we been just 2 friends, I would have suggested an alley, or really anything to help the poor girl. However, that's not something you can do, or suggest on a date.

A block later we came to a convenience store. We walked around the store, but found no bathroom. At the front, my date asked very formally "May I please use your bathroom?". Despite her polite formality all of her body language, her voice, everything screamed of desperation. Somewhat gruffly he responded "Only for employees". My compassion and white male privilege of speaking back kicked in. I interjected .. "Please sir" while taking $10 out of my wallet and placing it on the counter. He eyed it, eyed her, then thankfully led her to the back.

When she came back she looked relieved,embarrassed, but also appreciative. She had a good sense of humor about it "Did we really just pay $10 for me to use a bathroom in a storage closet with a sheet for a door? ........ Thank you." and she gave me a peck on the cheek.

We dated a couple more times, nothing memorable happened in the desperation department, but I have fond memories of her in many ways. This incident really surprised me as to how long some women will wait for the bathroom casually, while really being on a precipice. She did pee before our next movie date.