[Pedro the Fisherman]

Since my return to the UK in 2012, I'd lived in my home town, looking after an elderly parent. This meant I was unable to return to fully paid employment and I adopted a frugal lifestyle. This meant dating (via the internet, for the first time) was not easy. Dates expected guys in their mid 50s to have plenty of money, I'd lost most of mine in Spain with the crash of 2008, so whereas I wasn't exactly poverty stricken, I was not a ‘good catch' either.

My first internet date was set up, a week before I flew back! It was with a local University professor (business studies) who, although we were the same age and from that town, I didn't know. We had a few old ‘friends in common’ however. I didn't go to well, but we agreed to meet again. This was not a lot better (in my view), but as I walked her to her car, she said “are we going to give this a go?”. Rather taken aback, I heard myself saying “I think we should give it a go!”. With that she leaned forward and kissed me. The kiss grew and 30 minutes later, I was climbing into her bed! The relationship developed somewhat, but we were never going to be soulmates (so J***** would tell me, over the phone) because we had little in common. She hated walking, unless to the dress shops, I hiked about 30 miles a week and hated shopping.

She came to Spain with me for a weekend, as I had to sign some papers, handing my share of the house there, to my ex. I took her to visit my favourite beach, but it was January and too cold for me to tempt her to get naked. The sex was quite good and her house was a much nicer place to spend time than the rented place I had then. Finally, we broke up over the cost of two glasses of wine, outside a bar in our local shopping centre...£12! I said we could have bought two bottles (and have change) for that price. She said we paid for the ‘ambiance’ which was not exactly St Mark's Square!

So, by May 2013 and the HAI course I told you about above and I'm single and poor! I hiked every weekend with a singles walking group, organised through ‘Meet Up' website networks. This was good for fitness and women outnumbered men two to one! Not that all the women were young and attractive, however.

My first weekend back in the UK and the day after my first internet date, I took the train to a small station in West Sussex. This was given as the start point of the group walk and (as I had yet to buy a car) one of the few accessible using public transport. There was no sign of any group in the car park, but a tall blonde lady in hiking gear was standing, seemingly waiting for them to arrive. “Are you part of the meet up group?” I called. She replied “yes, but I'm beginning to think this isn't the right place". Have you looked the other side?” I replied, “let's try there". We crossed the railway via a footbridge and immediately saw about 30 hikers chatting away. As we arrived, the leader looked at his watch and they all trooped off, the blonde and I trying to catch up! “I'm Pedro (not my real name!, but I'll keep it for OCC stuff!), this is my first walk with Meet Up". “Oh Hi” she said, “I'm M****** and it's mine too”.
At the back, we chatted for over an hour. M was a mother of two girls, the youngest was in her final year at school, the other was at Uni. Her husband (a wealthy businessman) had left them two years ago for his PA who was almost thirty years his junior. M was only now feeling strong enough to start looking for a social life...but NOT dating, making herself very clear! The friendship slowly grew over the next few years, we took turns to drive each other to the walks, once I'd bought a small car. She drove a BMW M Sport, but not very well! She also had lots of misfortunes, house floods, parental illness and bad financial decisions. However we got on well, she even agreed we would go on a ‘date' if or when she felt ready to get back into ‘that sort of thing’. ‘M’ was tall, about 5ft 10ins and had a mane of light blonde hair, her face had obviously been very pretty when she was younger, but it now revealed the hurt her husband had caused her. She appeared to have reasonably sized breasts and wide hips, but in walking and casual clothes, it was not easy to judge.

We used to change into walking kit at the back of our cars, I'd hold her steady as she hopped around, struggling to put on thick socks and boots, but apart from a peck on the cheek when meeting and parting, that was as close as we got.

We talked about everything in both our lives, she had heard about WNBR (no way!) and I'd told her about HAI (interesting, but I don't think I could do that) and my erratic internet dating, something else she didn't want to do. She would talk about her terrible ex, her kids and her difficult elderly parents. She was 48 at the time we met and also had to be a full time carer for her parents.

I told her about wanting to go back and doing Level 1 again, Level 2 being far too expensive! On our next walk, I then mentioned my new gender balance dilemma. To my surprise, she said "I'm not making any promises, but tell me again about HAI and what it's all about. I have a big birthday this year and its probably about time I shook myself into moving my bloody life forward. From what I remember, this sort of course just might be the thing to give me a kick start!". I was just taking this statement in when she added, in a whisper as we were walking in a group "I won't have to get undressed will I?". I assured her that everything was 'optional' and she would be free to do what she wanted, no pressure.

By the time we were driving home, she said " As long as nothing clashes that I've forgotten about, I'll come along to Wales with you next month...but you'll have to hold my hand". I agreed and began to wonder if I'll end up holding more than just your hand!

Photo of 'M' below.