The following year, when Pervy Wife asked I what wanted for my wife birthday, I said, "Nothing fancy, you can repeat what I got last year."
PW rolled her eyes. "I'll bet! Alright, I figured that a tie was not going to do it. No hookers again, and I have to approve her."
I had been looking forward to this for months, and already had someone in mind. There was a cafe I went to regularly with a barista named Maria. She was in her twenties, maybe 5' 2", but with good proportions, a full bottom and breasts. Her hair was dyed cotton candy pink, and she had flawless tan skin. It was hard to tell exactly what her ethnicity was. I chatted with her when there weren't too many customers, and found out that she was Mexican-American. She confided that she didn't get along very well with her parents because they were quite traditional. She was in community college and we talked about her classes sometimes.
One time when the place was busy she came up to my table and asked me to help her with something. I said of course. It turned out the bathroom lock was broken and she wanted me to guard the door for her. I gave a deep bow and said, "It will be an honor, milady", which made her laugh. When she was done, she said, "Thanks! I wouldn't want those other guys to see my cooch."
This made me happy for two reasons. One, it gave me a reason think about her vagina. Two, "other guys" kind of implied that she wouldn't mind so much if I saw her "cooch" sometime.
Anyway, I told PW where Maria worked and what she looked like. PW said, "She sounds like a cupcake." (Remember the pink hair.) PW went and checked her out, and told me she was a little jealous, in both senses of the word, but approved. "She's like a juicy piece of fruit. You have to tell me everything."
Now was phase two, the deal. The same as with the yoga instructor, I flat out told her that my wife was giving me permission to have a fling. Maria was clearly shocked, and said she would have to think about it. The next time I came in, she gestured to me to talk to her in the back and asked, "What's in it for me?"
"I thought you liked me!"
"I don't hate you." She laughed. "But look at what you are getting." She gave a subtle shake. "A lot of guys your age would think they hit the jackpot."
"Very true! What would you like for YOUR birthday?"
Maria answered without hesitation. "I want a tennis bracelet."
"I didn't know you played tennis, but that's cool."
"It's not for playing tennis, you retard. Ask your wife about it. She can help you pick out something nice for your Latina girlfriend." Maria gave me her number, and said to call her when I was ready.
PW explained to me that a tennis bracelet was a piece of jewelry, sometimes with diamonds and costing thousands of dollars. She helped me pick something out that didn't break the bank.
I was ready the year two of the birthday fling.
(To be continued.)