[Pedro the Fisherman]

I awoke, hearing my roommate trying to close the room door quietly. Within seconds I relived last night, after no more than a minute of pleasurable reminiscence I found my self coming in a very heightened way. But who of the three naked nymphs had 'popped my cork' I'll keep to myself for now.

I went along to the super self service breakfast and found myself one of the first there. Sitting alone at a table for four, I soon saw our artist arrive. Noticing me, she came straight over. " Christ what a night" she said, "you would not believe what I've been through". "Ooh, do tell" I replied.

"Well, I was waking with J* back to our rooms when I realised she was crying. I couldn't help but ask what the matter was and that is where I think I went wrong!" " about four hours later, my special bottle of Rioja empty and my shower now no longer working, I let her sleep on my spare bed". (The artist was staying for three weeks and had paid to have a room to herself). "This morning she was throwing up like no bodies business too, I'll have to get some cleaning stuff, can't expect the room staff to sort that out".

"She was sick in your shower?" I asked. "Oh no, the shower got blocked when she borrowed some of my 'ladies tools' and removed that enormous jungle between her legs!"..." and apparently, it's ALL YOUR FAULT!. Perhaps you could come along and help me unblock it?"

"Wow, don't know how I get the blame" I stuttered "I don't mind one way or another about hair".

"Good grief" she replied, "do you know that girls story?". "A bit, she told me about her parents and upbringing a little last night, I think she might even be a virgin, come to think of it".

The artist rolled her eyes, " I had the whole story. She lied about coming here, her cousin in Edinburgh knows, she was the one who cut off her hair, whilst she stayed overnight before flying to Spain. Her family insist ladies have to have long hair and wear a headscarf. She is really rebellious and wants to start a new 'normal' life, whatever that is". After eating a mouthful of muesli, she added " she thinks she wants to have sex with someone this week. Unless our Pakistani friend falls out with his psychiatrist, YOU are the top of the bloody list to do the deed. Bet you didn't expect that when you booked to come here did you!"

I didn't! To be continued...