Quote:
Originally Posted by Duran Duran
Not sure this is the right place to be posting your problem, but anyway I'll play along in good faith...
Forget your principles.
Next time you go in, smile, be open & friendly, bring snacks, and then breakdown crying when you talk. That's what they want. They want you to be as weak as they are. Otherwise it threatens them, especially the fact that you don't think you belong there. The fact that you don't want to be there in their little group.
Play the victim card as well as you can.
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Duran Duran first of all, thank you for reading and responding to my post. You make some really good points in your response that I feel I need to address.
Yes these women AA group members think I am arrogant or a snob but I do not have good people skills .Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid. I am uncomfortable in social settings and it takes me a while to feel comfortable around other people. I've been asked soooo many times 'why are you so serious' when I'm not feeling serious at that moment. I unintentionally tend to give off an unfriendly aura which has led people to ask if I dislike them. When I feel nervous I try to compensate by being really confident. I guess other people take that as me being arrogant. I've been told I come across as stuck up/snobby full of myself, narcissistic, stuck up etc., and also very unwelcoming to new people. Technically the second part is true as new people terrify me, but the first bit is very untrue.And the truth is, i just can't talk to everyone... not that i don't want to. I just need time to open myself to people. To relax and open up. I hate that I come off like that. When I do speak with people, I tend to be overly nice to compensate and I guess that comes off as fake which definitely doesn't help the situation. People around me (except for the ones who truly know me) have always said that I come across as snobby, stuck on myself, and unfriendly..
I have been told that I seem snobby and it is because I don't speak up in groups where I am not comfortable. I have had people ask me if I thought I was better than others. This explains why I am having such a difficult time with this situation with this touchy feely "friendly" woman ginger. I thought I was doing a good job at appearing pleasant and likable. Even when I talk to other women AA group members I try to watch my tone of voice and sound cheerful. I am known as the biggest snob at work. Everyone always gets that first impression of me, and many keep that impression. The vast majority of people think I'm a "snob" or a upper middle class overdressed arrogant b*tch I know since the friends I've had over the years told me that after some time. People simply assume I must be a snob because I'm quiet. That doesn't even seem logical to me, but when being quiet is something that simply wouldn't occur to most people perhaps that's the next most logical conclusion.
I have been told that i look stuck up and arrogant.I have had the experience of women being jealous of me.I like satin and silk clothes and I wear them well.I should not have to suffer for what I like because other women have low self esteem and don’t see the gifts they have within themselves.I have a more stylish sense of fashion. I never wear anything trashy, I keep myself well covered and strive for professionalism and class. I always like to dress on my best, because I also feel great when I’m dressed pretty. Once, i’d been to the hairdressers and was off to do a little shopping afterwards and the girl at the salon asked where i was going looking so glamorous – i said i was going shopping and she was like “really? You look so glammed up to be going shopping!” I don’t mind though, i’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I wear high heels every day too.All the time. I like dressing well, and looking presentable.