[Loretta 1976]

Sorry for the long post, I would really appreciate it if you read it. I am here because I am in a really bad situation and I need some advice on what to do. I am not alcoholic. I'm not a heavy drinker at all--I never keep alcohol at my house, I never drink by myself, it's almost never liquor (mostly wine), and it's usually just for special occasions. Four months ago i got a dui because of my own irresponsible decision making, and have been labeled an alcoholic by a drug and alcohol counselor. I am required to go to 3 AA meetings a week for a year......i have went to 21of them..

I am 5 ft 10 tall heterosexual curvy hourglass shaped attractive mixed race woman( African American father Norwegian American mother). My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have a 14year old daughter! I have very large breasts and I do have a big butt. I don't intend to dress in any particular 'way' for anyone. I just wear what I like. I don't 'ask' for anything. I wear clothes that fit me properly. Most of my outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses. I am always on high heels and full make up on. If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot. I wear almost always my satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. I don't wear anything vulgar but because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I was sexualised from a very early age, and shamed for the way my body looks - something I have no control over. I can't help how wide my hips grow or how big my breasts get.

My mother used to shame me for the way my body looked. If I wanted to wear a skirt or dress, she always discouraged it, she always thought my skirt was 'too short' or 'too tight', or there was something wrong with my dress-sense. There's always guys flirting or asking me for my number. When I go out in public guys start talking to me and subtly try to ask me out. I mention I have a husband but some of them wont go away. I have trouble being mean so i cant get them to leave me alone.

It is all female AA group. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. On my second meeting this short like 5ft2 skinny freckled face creepy green eyes thin lips red haired masculine 53 year old woman AA group member walked up to me and said to me "Wow! Your breasts are massive!" and without even asking, she reached out with both hands and gave my breasts what I can only describe as a jiggle-squish. and giggled about how she liked them.This woman is really short. She was standing in front of me her head was exactly the level of my breasts.

Since then this weird ginger woman on every AA meeting is CONSTANTLY wanting to touch my breasts, feel them. If I just stand/sit there, she would stay there for a long time just feeling them and squishing them or whatever. I cannot sit in my chair without her seeing the opportunity to come up and cop a feel. She just wants to feel them, and it is annoying and uncomfortable to say the least.

She keeps touching my breasts any time her hand is near them. I have explained that it makes me feel uncomfortable when she tries to touch them without my permission. I ask her nicely not to touch them, and I've gotten to the point where I'm just so frustrated that I have to actually get upset with her and even then she just laughs or gets mad about it. She gets extremely upset when I remove her hand to the point of literally "fighting" my hand away with her own. Also this ginger woman is always slapping or rubbing my butt. She will just full on grab my butt. It is super annoying. I’m just standing there, and she’ll walk by me and take a swipe at my butt. She just touches my ass and leave her arm there.

I want to beat the shit out of her when she touches me without my consent. I am physically stronger than this weirdo ginger woman. I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft3 tall skinny. I am always on high heels she is always in sneakers. Standing next to me she looks like a midget. She knows how disgusted I feel when she touches me without my consent. She even asks me if I was ****d before just because I don't want her to touch my breasts and butt. I am 100% straight. I have no desire to do anything sexual with a woman. This ginger weirdo woman is repulsive to me.

Chair person this woman who is in charge to sign my paper "card"is very protective of this groper ginger midget. Three days ago i I complained to her about the situation with this groper woman but she(chair person) got really mad and started yelling at me. Her exact words were "You arrogant snob. You stuck up overdressed cow. You feel uncomfortable "slumming" with women who aren't as sophisticated,rich, gorgeous and worldly as you? Ego and arrogance at its best.What do you expect with your huge boobs your big ass your flashy clothes?" I have an intense fear of conflict with this old woman chair person since she signs my paper. I just automatically want to do everything possible to keep conflict down with her. This woman chair person signs my attendance sheets. Also my probation officer calls her(chair person) to verify my attendance? I am too scared to be dishonest about the attendance though. This woman chair person calls me 3 times a day, if I don't answer she emails. She says that court ordered AA opens the eyes of a lot of people who would otherwise not consider themselves alcoholic.

I am considered by most of other women AA group members to be very serious, arrogant, and stuck up.One woman group member has described me as a snob on about half a dozen occasions for the past21 meetings . I still don't really know why. I know on one of those occasions it was because I turned down the offer to go to a coffee with her after the meeting. How not wanting to go somewhere makes me a snob, I don't know. Also this woman group member is always commenting on my clothing saying that i am always overdressed in satin and silk. Alot of people ( females in general) pre-dislike me, unto they get to know me and find out that I'm a not stuck on myself at all.I'm the kind of person that only speaks if I have something to say and I keep my business to myself. Also most of other women group members think that i am stuck up and arrogant upper middle class snob. I feel like these women don't really like me. they are all white women in their 40s and 50s. The whole time I'm there I feel like I'm being disrespectful and rude because I didn't choose to be there. I'm not actively looking for help, although I have the utmost respect for people who realize there is a problem and are fixing it. .

Within my region this is the only all female AA group. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. I don't want to go to mixed gender meetings because of my husband. He is extremely jealous. Also I can't talk to my husband about this because he is extremely jealous and possessive.He is going to blame me. I need to get through this.

My case worker probation officer is very condescending, aggressive and quite rude. She doesn't care what happens to me. She thinks that i deserve to go to jail. She says that i am stuck up, arrogant snob. I just need to get through this. As i said within my region this is the only all female AA group. It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work.