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Originally Posted by Emperor Wang
I've given this whole thing a lot of thought (it's what I do!). The whole cuckolding angle - humiliation factor, etc - really doesn't hold any appeal for me and yet I've always found the idea of the woman I love being with someone else an incredible turn-on. The closest I can figure is that it's about stepping back and seeing her as a purely sexual being, completely independent of me, which makes me want her even more. This is why I love the idea of her having sex with another man or even just exposing herself, but the idea of her actually developing emotions for anyone else is the last thing I want. I remember hearing some porn actor (can't remember who) talking about his relationship with his wife or girlfriend, who was also in porn. He said something to the effect of "She can suck a dozen other men's cocks and I'm fine with it but if I caught her having a romantic dinner with anyone else I'd totally lose it."
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I have been sharing my wife with other men for the past few years without being a cuckold. The humiliation, denial, etc. does nothing for me. I prefer to watch, and join in. She likes to be watched, and shared, and have two or more men dedicated to pleasing her. Sexual definitions are helpful in that they convey a general idea of sexual preference, etc. But they are often limiting. My wife and I are closer to the "Hotwife" definition, which sounds like what you are interested in. But we are not a typical "hot wife" couple because she does not play alone. She does "date" men, meaning she will meet them for lunch, cocktails, etc. But if I am not there, the date ends with a kiss and nothing more.