As others have said, people react differently to your situation and there is no "normal."
Sounds like you need to have further honest conversations with each other [and maybe first with yourself!] as to what you really want from your relationship and how you would like it to develop. Many men are arosed at the thought of their wife with another, whether just in fantasy or in reality, but the "cheating" aspect adds another layer as it was not something you both agreed to and shared but something she did without you. Not to be too psychological, but your mind could be trying to reduce the internal dissonence you feel at being betrayed and turning it into arousal as a way to deal with it, but maybe not.
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