So it's 11:30pm here and I texted my ex. Couldn't see her tonight b/c she has a friend in town, but her friend lives in London and crashed early. This is the best time to text her, because I knew she'd be drunk. I asked her what she was doing, and she wrote back "KY warming lube. Get your fleshlight out and send me a vid." She bought me the clear one last year and loves when I send to her. I told her I would if she answered a few questions first. She said that she and Vanessa had a few martinis. I asked if I should call her or text (she loves to talk), but said that one of our kids was probably still awake, so text was better. I wrote "tell me the truth about these: Did you really only mutually eat out the hot neighbor wife two times, or was it more? Did you really only fuck the other neighbor husband once? How many times did you actually sleep with the huge 6'5" black trainer, and tell me about it. What about Fernand (the 26 year old Spanish guy) made you fuck him so much? And are those really the only guys you were with after we split, because you told me you fucked 10 different dudes in the year before you met me?"
I thought that was a pretty gutsy text. She was typing on her phone for at least 10 minutes. Here is her reply (i corrected her drunk typos!):
"No, Clara and I got together probably 5 times. I got tired of it. You know how much I love dick. But she was pretty fucking awesome. Matt (neighbor husband only once, but twice that night). All he wanted to do was stick it in and cum on my face. He was pretty small, but, ya know, he's so funny, and he begged me to do it again outside on the terrace. He told me that he was pretty sure he heard me fucking Fernand outside, which I'm sure is true. He has that Jen as a wife who is just so dull and I'm sure he never touched her other than mish. He then said that he had wanted me for years, and asked to go down to the pool. I was done taking that little thing and said I had to go bed. I only got the double team from Clarence and Fernand once, but after F left town, he must have come over about 10 times. Tell you about it? Well, I already told you he was the biggest I ever had. Longer than F's and thicker than yours. Only that one porn guy could compare at all. The thing had to be 10" and as thick around as a beer bottle. It was amazing feeling it go in me, and he is the one who taught me about the coconut oil. You know I get so wet, but I needed help with that. I let him cum in me a bunch of times and between the coconut oil and the cum dripping out of me, the bed was a fucking mess. I fucked F so much because he could get it up 2 minutes after he came, or if the wind was blowing. His cock was curved up and hit my clit in the perfect place. If you make me cum three times, he would be 10 or more. He did this thing with his finger while he was inside me (so deep, probably almost as long Clarence but kinda thin). But you have never seen so much cum ever in any porno. He loved to cum in me, but I always begged him to pull out sometimes just to watch the spraying all over me. Even on like the 5th time, he could shoot a rope over my head. We didn't use any lube except a few times, but you told me you saw the sheets that one time. I mean what a fucking hot scene. And he'd wake up in the morning and do it again. Plus he fucked me everywhere. The kitchen, the pool, the terrace, the back of car. We couldn't be on a 30 minute drive before he pulled over. I told him the first night that I couldn't believe how many times he could do it and that so much cum was amazing. He said, well it's my diet! When you and me are on the phone late I night, I always masturbate to you. But when you're not, I still think about him. Sorry, but I know you love that. And the number of guys was probably a few more, but nothing to write home about, hahaha. But one young hot guy!
So I know by now you are hard as a rock. Stuff that thick monster into the Ice and send me the video."
So there you go. A drunk horny ex....
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