Quote:
Originally Posted by Atc808
My girlfriend and I met online and have been in a long distance relationship for the past 6 months...
Why did she hide this side of her from me and let total strangers humiliate and use her like a total sl*t?
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There's a lot going on here, and it might be helpful to separate the issues to identify what you're feeling and how you want to react.
There's nothing wrong in going to a sex club and having sex, with one or multiple people and showing off - that's what those clubs are there for, and even though she wants to be called a sl@t and wh@re to get turned on, she's choosing to do it and using her agency and that's all good.
What is super shitty is that she said NOTHING to you in advance about this, and in fact has been sending completely opposite signals in your relationship about how she wants to be treated. There could be lots of reasons for this - the culture does a number on women's heads and makes them feel like they should please men but also stay "pure" and other BS, so often they are conflicted and act inconsistently. This doesn't make her a bad person necessarily but it makes her actions crappy and disrespectful.
It's possible she was initially afraid to show you how she really liked to behave, and she dredged up the courage to do it in a way that would let it all out at once. She accomplished that, but it had a huge negative reaction.
Perhaps she WANTS to drive you away - maybe because she thinks she's a sl@t and she doesn't deserve you, or maybe she wants to break up for some unrelated reason, but she figured this might do it.
OR perhaps she took a leap of faith that, since you liked little kinky stuff, this huge reveal would turn you on and give you what she thinks you wanted.
But again, her problem is that she's not TALKING with you about what you want - she's not communicating, and she's taking huge and risky steps together without that communication. Again, that's threatening to the relationship whether she wants it to be or not.
If she's super hot AND has a super special personality and you can't live without her, then it may be worth trying to work this out. But 6 months isn't a long time, and usually long distance relationships after meeting online don't last, sorry to say.
Personally, if she's under 25, or even 30, I'd say she's too young and volatile now and will put you through a ton of shit before she settles down. If she's older, then I think some couples counseling to create some communication between you would be necessary to save the relationship.
Good luck!