I figured it out the hard way myself.
When my fiancée and I started dating, she "jokingly" told me about her sexual history one night after drinking.
I found out that night, and on several other occasions, about her rather "busy" history. When she was in her early twenties she started experimenting with her then-fiancée. He brought a female friend into the relationship and she had her first threesome. The two of them also had sex in public and enjoyed a very exciting sex life. Eventually they broke up; and she got even more experimental in the aftermath. She started bringing home random guys from bars - to this day she won't tell me how many guys or how many penis have been in her. She went out with her best friend one night, met some guys at a bar who had coke, and ended up in a coke-fueled foursome .
I guess she figured it would turn me on; but it had the opposite effect. I guess my real problem was that our sex life was nowhere near as exciting as what she'd experienced; and so I felt cheated. I asked her questions; and the more answers I got the more I seethed. And then one day I had a "Chasing Amy" moment where I started drilling her about her past, asking her how many dicks exactly had been in her, calling her a few choice names; getting angrier while she started really freaking out. We fought and I was getting ready to dump her. But I decided not to go Ben Affleck; called some friends instead who calmed me down.
We're still together and now engaged.
My piece of advice, what worked for me, was perspective. She was younger. She was really hot (she still is but not like in her 20's!). She was lonely. She was just a different person. Understanding that my fiancée went through this stage in her 20's, and it's part of her past; it's done. Gaining this perspective is what allowed me to move past her sexual history and move on with our lives.
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