[Fox Mulder]

1. "Yeah...I'm walking around topless in my panties. Put it back in your pants and get over it, Pervo!" (The women of I Love You Funny Face get kinda pissy this time of year)
2. "POLICE! YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME! I'M SURROUNDED BY VISCIOUS FERAL DOGS!" ( They're also prone to exaggeration)
3. "Hey buddy! Do you think I need a boob job?" ( Insecurity coupled with no sense of public shame)
4. Isn't it sweet that Boris Karloff's grandkids keep their granddad's picture above the fireplace?
5. THE LEAST of the trauma in the aftermath of THIS little fiasco is that my son no longer believes in Santa Claus. Single Dads: Always make sure the kids are asleep before you invite your lover over for a Christmas Eve quickee!
6. This is Julie, the insatiable nymphomaniac football groupie. SHE is the reason the Buffalo Bills lost those consecutive Super Bowls.
7. "Honey, feel free to check out all those travel brochures...but I can clearly see EXACTLY where I want to go!" ( It's warm there too!)
8. "OK...I've thought it over. I pick YOU to come over here and lick my hot little pussy!" ( It's a nice winter fantasy, Wankers. Just go with it)
9. This was the only way we could keep her from making her mother's awful tuna loaf recipe on New Year's Day. (Some traditions deserve to die)
10. "You sir, are a ruthless rapscallion and a deceitful scoundrel! I fling my panties in your general direction in abject disgust! For all of your shameless philandering and callous thoughtlessness, I condemn you to an evening of solitary slumber upon the dangerously narrow and wholly uncomfortable couch!" (Drama Queen)