[Fox Mulder]

1. Is anyone missing a disheveled, nutty lookin' blond who pees in random places? She showed up this morning and has been hanging around the thread all day. If she's your's, please come get her and take her home. I don't want to have to call social services.
2. "Golly! She's got a firm ass and EVERYTHING!" ( Nathan was more than pleased with his belated Christmas present from his Dad. He may never move out of Dad's basement now.)
3. "Hey...I thought you might need a little hydration because...well...I'm kind of ball drainer and we're gonna go at it aaaall night long!"
4. "THIS dude was hung like Johnny 'The Wad' Holmes before I sucked him right down to almost nuthin'!" (Apparently hydration IS important!)
5. "Good evening ma'am. This is Fox Mulder at OCC. I've got your pants... and I'm not going to return them until everyone in the forum has had a damned good wank looking at your hot little MILF pussy." (Oh, the things I do for you guys!)
6. How a promising relationship ended in 2007: "Oh shit! I'm such an idiot! THIS is why I have to write things down! I forgot to call "B" to see if she wanted to meet up for supper!" (He did not sup with "B" and she dumped him...but "C" made him cum twice)
7. "Pardon me, while you were asleep I took the liberty of fertilizing your ovaries." ( Why sleeping pills are bad.)
8. I know that despite the sign, some of you (and this might surprise your friends, family and coworkers) really DO want to drink the water.