[Fox Mulder]

1. Roxanne attempts to use her Jedi powers to stop us from looking at her tits. The Force is NOT with her.
2. Now that Playboy is going nude free, (What's the fucking point?) Kim thought she'd give us a reminder of the good old days when Hugh still ran the show and we all wished we could get a little bunny tail.
3. When choosing lovers, Bobbi swears by "testical heft" as a sure way to pick out a winner.
4. Here's one sure way to get your lover off the goddam Internet and back to the moment.
5. "It looks like Santa got me the 'Assbuster 9000 with Turbo Thrust Action' I've been wanting!" ( Santa likes to see 'em gape)
6. "Hey, Big Guy! Your pubic hair doesn't match your head!" (Embarrassment courtesy of the limitations of "Just For Men" hair dye)
7. After being abducted by aliens, the Smith sisters gleefully show off their radiation burns.
8. On the other side of the bed, Keith is gloating over his sexual performance. But obviously Lexi is less than impressed.
9. Sometimes the daily grind just gets to Jane. It ain't easy being a congresswoman by day and a callgirl specializing in Bukkake gangbangs by night.
10. Grandma is thrilled. Her dream of a "White Christmas" in Galveston finally came true.