[Fox Mulder]

1. "You ladies are probably wondering why I asked you all here today...I want to talk frankly about schizophrenic behavior. "
2. Exclusively female colleges can be tough. They're so horny over at the Smegma Thi Sorority that the girls are humping the walls!
3. "Duh yuh...I love me some Suave shampoo...I really do! Yuk yuk yuk!" ( The dumbing down of America continues)
4. "Hey! If you pull on it, this stuff just keeps flying off the little cardboard thingy!"
5. "What? You've never seen a woman's right breast before?"
6. Some people don't think being photographed while seated on a toilet is funny. Imagine that.
7. She's so high she forgot she wasn't doing her laundry at home...and this is exactly why marijuana ought to be legal everywhere.
8. "But Farmer Joe, whatchu mean you want me to suck your cock? Your chickens is all outside in the yard!"
9. The NFL placekicker was in a terrible slump. At six inches from goal he couldn't even hit his girlfriend's tongue.