[sooty]

I went to the doctor the other day and she said "Robert you are going to have to stop masturbating." I replied somewhat shocked and disappointed "But why?" and she said "Well, I'm trying to examine you!"

Here's an old one that you probably know but just in case. Prince Charles was opening a space tracking station at Oodnadatta in the outback of South Australia and was wearing a hat made from fox skin with a long tail. Everyone was very curious why he was wearing it and at the end of the formalities one reporter asked what was the significance of the hat. He replied "Well actually it was Mummy's idea" and the reporter said "You mean Her Majesty?", "Yes" he said "I was talking to her last night on the phone and she asked me what I would be doing today and I said I was opening a space tracking facility at Oodnadatta and she said "Oh, wear the fox hat"