[Fox Mulder]

1. You can't call yourself a real cowboy until you sleep with Fast Rita, the trail boss's daughter. Just try to stay on her for eight seconds!
2. Icelandic women have trouble making my Beach Bums thread...but they're always welcome here.
3. "Whoooaaa...duuude....I am Supergirl! Soaring above Metropolis...I can...oh...shit! My pussy is made of steel!" (Blame the weed)
4. What a teaser.
5. When certain politicians with small hands campaign at nude beaches...
6. "...and he's all like...My hands aren't small...my gloves are a small large...and I'm like...Dude, that's a medium."
7. "I'm just saying...if Darth Vader really turns out to be the father, you've got more troubles than a little morning sickness."
8. Woman: "Well, I thought you'd 'turn up' at this event."
9. Can you guess which sunbather is thinking about Gisele Bundchen?
10. It's really a bummer when you get stood up for a picnic...especially when you were supposed to be main course.