[winston optic beer]

TV coverage of the recent tragic events in Nice reminded me of my trips there in happier circumstances. There is a lovely restaurant underneath the Promenade des Anglais very close to where flowers were piled up in tribute to the victims. I hope it's not insensitive to tell this frivolous story so soon after the tragedy.

The restaurant has changing facilities and showers and sunbeds to rent along the edge of the sea and a waiter comes rounds serving drinks to the sun worshipers. It is fenced off from the public beach. My wife and I had spent the day on the beach and decided to have a very late lunch while the previously busy beach was clearing in the afternoon.

We were sitting on adjacent sides of a table both enjoying the view of the beautiful blue sea. I was looking slightly to the right and my wife slightly to the left so we were looking over different bits of beach.

There was no one else remaining in the restaurant and the waiter was in the back. There was only one woman left on the bit of beach in my field of view. She looked to be in her fifties and was wearing a leopard pattern one piece swimming costume with no straps. Earlier, she'd been with friends but now she was on her own. She was lying only a few metres from where I was sitting at the table.

I wasn't paying her particular attention and was only aware of her because we'd been sunbathing on beds close to her and her friends. As I grazed out to sea, I was vaguely aware of her getting up off her bed and standing up. What caught my attention was that, with her back to me she slipped out of her swimming costume with no attempt to cover her nakedness.

This was completely unnecessary because there were changing rooms in the back of the restaurant. I was impressed with her devil may care attitude but unprepared for what happened next. As she kicked her costume off her foot she nimbly spun round 180 degrees with some panache to face me directly. She then stood to attention and put her arms by her side and paused to give me a lingering full-frontal view of her charms. Her looks were striking and she was fairly well built but in good shape. She looked me straight in the eye and after a few seconds turned away to pluck a wrap from her bag and within a couple of minutes she was gone.

There was absolutely no doubt in my mind this was a quite deliberate act of exhibitionism on her part. For some reason known only to her she had selected me as the victim/beneficiary. I doubt that she would have been visible from the Promenade due to roof of the restaurant. A little taken aback, I explained to my wife what had transpired. She said nonsense, no woman would do that deliberately and I must be mistaken. I am sure that I am correct.