[Fox Mulder]

1. WHY IS CLEANLINESS IMPORTANT? Well...you never want to get a handjob from your brunette girlfriend in the afternoon...
2. ...and have her find a red pubic hair from your morning exploits.
3. If you're green and you like to fuck Starship captains...Kirk will come calling.
4. And you thought all that noise was just the raccoons getting into your garbage again. (It pays to keep a camera handy)
5. On a hot day it's important to stay hydrated. Get plenty of liquids in you...whenever and however you can.
6. Can you guess who doesn't want you to see her tampon string?
7. Soccer moms don't just use their vans for transporting kids anymore.
8. Bushwood Country Club has changed a lot since "Caddyshack."
9. She thought she was just posing for her boyfriend...now here she is on the Internet. ( Appropriate reaction.)
10. "Hmmmm...no red pubic hairs here!" YEP, CLEANLINESS IS IMPORTANT.