Could it be how you're approaching it? My wife has a super low sex drive and rarely explores her own fantasies. But by being patient and more subtle in my approach with her we can occasionally have some pretty satisfying encounters. I took it as a challenge to figure out what "works" for her as opposed to why she couldn't be as expressive as the women we read about here (or others from my past).
One of her early responses to why she's reluctant to explore fantasies and more adventurous sex play is she's afraid it will spiral out of control. I suspect there are other more subliminal fears and possibly repressed memories of abuse. It's a delicate situation and very frustrating for me, as my drive and sense of adventure is pretty high.
One thing is for sure, the perception of pressure or other negativity is the same as throwing ice water on things. It's all about trust. And figuring out how to genuinely communicate. The stuff she's reading is the deep end of the pool, which she might not ever really want to swim in. Figure out how she wants to get her feet wet in the shallow end.
Sorry about the unsolicited advice, but you've got some potential there!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NB2020
My wife won't even admit to having any fantasies, let alone make them happen. The worst part is that I know she reads a lot of dirty stories on her Kindle and can spend hours on the Literotica website on her iPad.
I actually confronted her about it but she denied she was interested in the genres she reads so much of (forced submission, milk, BBC, 1nce$t - she ignores all the other ones) and claims she just reads them to fill the time. Absolute BS of course but what can you do? She both denies she is aroused by them, and then also says they're just fantasy stuff anyway and she wouldn't want to do it in real life.
Clearly gangbanging her like I was six well hung black strangers is not something I can do, but she won't even let me tie her up or spank her (as happens in her stories). I've asked her what her fantasies are, and offered to try to make them happen, but she just deflects... every time. It irks me now, especially when I see so many other people (men and women) on this site being open about what they want and enjoying themselves.
So... anyone else have a wife in denial?
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