About 6 weeks ago, while having drinks at a bar with my regular date woman “Ann” (She is cool with me having sex with other women), we are setting up plans for the next two weekend dates in which she will dress up all sexy and logistics for picking her up, etc. And we talk about other things. She then tells me “You are still in love with your ex.” For which I nod and drink. Ann has never met or knows my EX or any of our social circles.
Next night, my EX calls up and asks for us to go bowling and talk about serious stuff. I said sure, grabbed my ball and I’m on a 40+ min drive to pick her up. We bowl, but don’t talk about our SNAFU or any drama. Just eat, light chit-chat and had fun. I drop her off at her home (she lives with her family) and head back. I start crying by the time I get to the end of her street before getting onto the HWY. Yeah, I want her back.
Two days later, after I leave a session, my EX calls me… asks me if I saw her FB PM she sent, I said now. As local concerts with our favorite bands are coming up and I hate the idea of HER going without me so I figured it was about that. She texted “Can we talk and work things out?” We go to voice and talk and cry. She has been doing her own research about relationships and is seeing her flawed logic in breaking us up. I immediately cancel my drive towards the gym and we go out for dinner and talk seriously. We both admit that we wanted to hug and kiss each other at the bowling alley. We go over serious points and decide to go out on a first date on Friday – which we do, and had a great time, neither of us drinks.
The “ex” says she wants to go to therapy with me, which she does. We both get a lot of issues knocked out. Yeah, we both have flaws – but she badly chose to cheat and throw everything away. I also tell her that its not fair for me to cancel my dates with Ann and my EX agrees. My Ex texts the POSOM (with me sitting next to her – and he calls back) that she is dumping him. She then deletes photos off her phone, FB and anything connected to him.
My dates with Ann are non-sexual, I gave her the heads up and she is supportive. I introduce her to my social circles as she knows nobody, and they like her. So she can meet and date guys and have fun with people who she now knows. She is now, only a friend. No sex, no dating.
Our son has suffered her being gone and the bad energy between us. But he’s doing better with us together.
I’ve told her, this is more than just my needs, its about the three of us. We continue to self help, go to therapy meetings together and with different ICs for our individual needs. We read, we talk more openly now than ever before. I do want my “wife” to be back as a family unit. The OLD relationship is *DEAD*, so we’re technically “BF/GF” and will refer to her as GF, rather than EX or Wife. I’m still healing and doing quite well, Doc feels we are making great progress, but its going to be a tough road for us. After-all, each time she lied /ran-off to see the POSOM – it caused more and more severe damage to each other. I hope we work out, I do love her. I don’t want to co-parent. Together we are better parents and our son will be happier. And she has been sober for 4 months, yea!
My dick works great for my GF, the issues I had before were not related to her being bad or anything, it was a personal issue that took a while for my body & brain to work out. She had thought I lost sexual interests.
Oh, we’re a mono couple. Will we do kinky things and go to parties? YES! Soon? NO! Its something we both can’t handle for obvious reasons. We’ll just be doing kinky stuff with each other, even if its public.
I do love her. And being with her, feels good. I really hope we get past 12 months, then 5 years, then beyond.
I will leave this thread up to help others and do updates if needed. I may start new threads of new adventures, if its exciting and she is cool about it.